The World Outside My Window

i would like to get on an airplane and disappear lol like the song says "im leaving on an airplane and i dont know if i'll be back again" funny i dont recall the exact lyrics or the name of the artist but randomly that line jumps in my head and i dream of a day when i can pack a back and go.  i envision a small bag with the bare necessities and i'd buy whatever i needed as i travelled.  that would be so awesome! especially as i feel overwhelmed by the direction my life has taken.  for a brief while i had become very passive with my career choices, kind of making rash decisions or just plain not thinking things through leaving me in a place where i am not happy or passionate about what i do for a living.  i appreciate the fact that i have employment especially during these hard economic times however i feel like i need to make a difference and i am not doing that at this time. which is another reason for this much needed vacation: peace of mind! i need to cle...

I've started several entries to no avail, I guess my heart just wasn't in any of them. I even considered deleting all of my prior 'thoughts' and starting anew but what good would that do? I've scrapped things in the past: people, phone numbers, blogs, you name it but those days are over. With all that said I decided not to erase everything simply because they are somewhat preoccupied with a certain someone the truth is, I felt those things. I still feel those things so why erase them as if that will magically erase the love or the hurt. I completely understand that I am a work in progress striving to be a better me but I still love him. I pray that one day I'll love him less, until its not at all. It helps when I don't talk about him or think too much of our history (ancient and that of recent days) today was not one of those days. I was often reminded of the latest hurts and I began to miss him. I even considered texting but thought it'd be in my bes...