The World Outside My Window

I've been up since 4:00 am fighting the urge to scream and trying to battle an Anxiety Attack. The fact that I only slept for less than two hours before I was awakened when an idea (yay!); followed by reenactments of yesterday's conversations and events began to lead to a Migraine. I've started a prayer several times this week, but talked myself out of it. I want to hibernate. I am sick of (most) people and I'd rather spend my days with myself or a select few. Yet I know that is not what's best for me at this time/"season"... -sigh- I keep reminding myself, "the battle is not yours, it's The Lord's"... Then the headache worsens and the tears fall. Worst part of all, no one Cares. Although they'd be fake-offended IF they actually read the words stated; yet that's not a problem because they choose not to support anything I do. Yet if you let them tell it; they have all the love in the world; sigh -insert blank stare-. I'...

I want to write... Here are the challenges keeping me from doing so: 1. I don't like to discuss things until they are DONE. You know the saying "don't talk about it, be about it"? That's me 100%; so what do you write when everything's still "a work in progress"? Not to mention, words are powerful and I am not ready to share certain things publicly as they may affect my outcomes. In many things I can't afford to be naïve in thinking that everyone who reads my words or knows me personally wishes me well. Lets be honest, "misery loves company", "unhappiness despises change" and "The Mediocre hates The Over-Achiever" . So please forgive me when I choose NOT to give you ammunition to fuel negative energy towards me. Those who do such don't need any of my help. While those who wish me well and send positive energy, do so without requiring specifics. 2. Keeping #1 in mind, I don't desire to dwell in the sorrow...