The World Outside My Window

After I posted recently I stumbled upon a few things that made me question the direction of The Blog. I thought, then over-thought the contents of some things I've chosen to share and briefly considered editing; which basically consist of deleting curtain posts and making a mental note to exclude those topics in the future. The thought then lead to my physical journals; two in particular. I packed them away months ago with no interest in reading or writing in them; at least not in the foreseeable future. As I flipped through them (sort of) I immediately thought to burn them. I'll save that story for another time. So Thursday morning I have the bright idea to begin a new journal. Over the years I've picked up a few here and there with the thought of one day having them all filled with random stories, memories, fantasies, etc. So I'm digging through boxes and drawers only to find pictures I'd forgotten about. One photo* in particular I decided to post on my Instag...

"It is never too late to be what you might have been." ~George Eliot     I often joke about how different my life would have been had I not gotten pregnant with my son. I remember at the time my cousin went off to the Air Force and as his graduation was approaching I thought about enlisting as well. The original plan was to pack up and move to New York and find a wonderful career in fashion or writing, I would've been "Carrie Bradshaw" long before the Sex & the City series. Or perhaps travel abroad and figure something out along the way. Somehow when I discussed these dreams with others it was clear to me that they were unattainable or silly . I then remember over the years as a child I'd watch "The Peanuts" , my favorite was Lucy van Pelt, she was no-nonsense, straightforward, unapologic and confident. Up until that point, I'd never identified with anyone (real life or fictional) the way I did with her and her antics. It w...

Summer 1996, I had a new friend and she was wild. I remember I'd never really hung out away from home, so it was always an adventure traveling around the neighborhood with her. I remember the guys talking to me and surprised that I was actually socializing. They used to call me "90210", and it would piss me off since clearly we were no where near Beverly Hills. So this friend would somehow find all types of crazy things to get into each day, she hated being at home, but she never had any money. I had money without the information, so you can see how this pairing was beneficial to both of us. Her mother had a ton of kids and she was the eldest, not to mention the mothers boyfriend was a weirdo. One night she came to my window because the boyfriend was hitting her mom and she wanted to run away. I'd convinced her to stay and we'd figure something out. Soon after her mother and the boyfriend broke up, but something changed in our friendship. She started borrowing ...