The World Outside My Window

"Be thirsty Heart, seek forever without a rest.  Let this soundless longing hidden deep inside you be the source of every word you say" - Rumi The other evening while working on my fitness, I thought of revisiting a form of writing I'd long abandoned.  I've written wedding vows for my self approximately three times, obviously never taking the opportunity to recite them.  I remember the first poem I wrote; my Aunt assisted me, nevertheless the poem was selected to be published in some school book, I don't recall what type; I just know it wasn't the yearbook.  This was in Junior High School.   I remember some time later I felt "some type of way" and tore up the only copy I had.  Shortly after doing so I promised my self I'd never do that again. Is there a word stronger than "Love"?  If so that's what I feel for Venus; she's my "Planet of Love" as well as the "Love Planet" of the Universe and I adore He...

Unless you are new to the Blog you are aware I have been diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder . Next month will be two years since the initial attack and that has a few things coming to the surface.  For starters, I don't know if it would be classified as a "secret" per say since I know I've mentioned it in various posts.  I was also diagnosed with Severe Depression , which I never rarely talk about.  I thought if I kept it to myself and "dealt with it quietly" it would go away since I wasn't giving it any attention or energy.  Well, I was wrong.  It's silently killing me; some days are less difficult if I'm only fighting Anxiety , but other days are brutal since both attack my Mind.  If you follow me on Twitter, Instagram and/or Facebook you know that I've gotten back into fitness; mostly walking, running, some hiking and yoga.  I've incorporated some reliable herbs into my diet to assist with hormonal balancing and I've steppe...

The most interesting thing about dealing with Anxiety Disorder for me has been self discovery. Naturally I am a curious person, I like to know how things operate so I observe and analyze (usually over-analyzing); which explains my fascination with psychology, specifically behavioral psychology.  As an only child I spent a lot of time with myself, so prior to the incident(s) triggering the Disorder I felt as if I knew myself to my "core".  I recall a conversation with my first therapist where she explained how we all have certain levels of anxiety (and/or any other "issue" which require awareness). Some people may have a higher tolerance while others may be predisposed to a Disorder, perhaps genetically or through conditioning (nature vs. nurture). I was aware of the concept however it's something totally different when you are now the "subject". I am reminded of a conversation I had about a year ago with my Mother, I'm not sure how it began but we ...

Once again, I'm not sure how far I want to go back, or how much I would like to share as this post is quite different from the battle which was/is,  "The Struggle" .   I guess I'll just keep it within the past few days and see where it goes... As I mentioned I'd gotten back to the  "atmosphere"  within myself that I've designated my  "Sweet Escape",  shortly after for various reasons I found myself in a state of high anxiety ending with tears.  Monday, I knew  "the Feelings"  weren't going anywhere and I'd need to increase the effort relating to the techniques learned through experience, research and therapy in hopes the Anxiety wouldn't escalate or create an attack.  I figured I'd begin with washing my hair and from there my mood should improve.  It's clear that would not be enough, so I began to meditate which lead to the realization that my "yin and yang" were out of sync.  I began searching online...