I'm curious; or rather questioning my thought(s) and decided to allow them to flourish.
Do you find yourself using your words to "cast" torment/ misfortune upon your Self and/or Others (deformation) or are you speaking blessings and good will/ tidings to your Self and/ or Others (affirmations)?
As I've awakened my Core along with (Concious Effort) towards managing a healthy Chakra balance I find myself much more sensitive to words than ever before. I recall as a child if someone (an Authority Figure) spoke harshly to me I would sincerely cry; as a result I rarely received spankings, if I were to count the number in total it would be far less than "average" and viewed as either "laughable" or "spoiled"; however when a peer used harsh words with me I'd return the sentiment and overall I've had approximately 5 (give or take, as I'm relying on my Memory) physical altercations from Elementary through High School. As a Young Adult (20- 25) I've had literally a couple of "tussles", but nothing worthy of a second glance. And the thought of anything escalating to that point after 25 years old never entered my Mind. For the most part I've created a habit of choosing my Words in the form of Honesty, Truth, Facts and the ultimate, Scripture to "fight my battles" for me.
About a month ago I had to face an extremely unpleasant situation, which was inevitable (the situation not the experience). After all was said and done I vented on my Facebook page my irritation and "hatred" for having to endure such discomfort and imo, foolishness. Once it was posted my "friends" Anxiety, OCD and the Perfectionist came through to over-analyze my expression. As I read and re-read the entry I found myself getting sadder, madder and more disgusted each time. Once I realized it I quickly deleted the post and in it's place stated something funny, silly or happy; I don't remember exactly. As I thought of the words to express I felt my mood improve and as I completed and pressed "post" I felt good about what I was saying/ sharing with those who will scroll through my "feed".
Recently as the amount of stress is ever present varying in levels from day to day as well as moment to moment, I'm finding my tolerance toward the "triggers" has gotten lower and lower. As I have become aware, this is a dangerous Space for me as there are only two experiences that typically follow this "chain of unfortunate events"; either I'm going to "pop off" at the mouth and say things I'd wanted to leave unsaid; in an attempt to consider the affects as well as the possible effects of my words or I continue to "overlook" the offenses, irritation and/ or negative energy resulting in the experience of Anxiety or Panic Attack. Lately I've been experiencing a state of "Sensory Overload", where my Body has become quite easily affected by loudness, brightness, sounds (more specifically, noise) and smells. Even to the point that when touched I can feel any sensation ranging from extremely aroused or on the other end of the spectrum, absolutely disgusted depending on the energy as well as the intent. The other thing that comes into play is my level of comfort and respect for my personal space and boundaries (I'll share more on that topic "soon").
So I suppose that's where the curiousity comes in; do you feel the effects of unpleasant energy/ words in your Being? And/ or are you aware of how that energy is manifesting in your Living Experience? I've read a few times about the experiment with freezing water after attaching certain words to them and how the result ranged from "artistic" to "distorted". Can you imagine how the inside of our Brain, Heart and overall Being would look on the inside if we were to cut ourselves open to explore the effects of days, weeks, months and/or years of negativity or on the bright side, positivity!
Well if you take a look at the world outside your window (and by "window" I'm referring to your Eyes as they are believed to be the "windows of your Soul"), what do you see? Is the glass half empty or half full? Do you even see the glass? I say that because in a resent exchange on Social Media I was accused of "projecting" something onto an Other. My response to that was simply "your perception is your reality"; which makes me think of that old saying "if a Tree falls in the forest and there's no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?" Well yes, it not only makes a sound, it also effects the Space around it. In the event the majority of your words are full of "shade", gossip, bullshit, lies, opinions, etc the manifestation will most likely be a poor existence in one, some or many areas of your Being; whether mentally, physically, emotionally, interpersonally (socially) and/ or financially.
By no means am I saying to only use "pretty" words or anything along those lines (I.e: fluff, bullshit, empty promises or "blowing smoke up someone's ass"); however as my "Auntie" (in my Head) Iyanla Vanzant would say "call a thing a thing". Being straightforward and honest with your intentions and/or expectations goes a long way. It also cuts down the assumptions, misunderstandings and overall confusion. On the flip side, the struggle I have can be expressed if I truly took heed to the words of my other "Auntie" (in my Head) Wendy Williams, who daily encourages us to "say it like you mean it". In my attempt to spare the feelings or whatever of others I was expressing a lack of value towards my own (aka neglecting). My perspective was not from a Space of low self esteem or inferiority, but on the extreme opposite as a method of taking "the high road". I have been aware of many of my personality traits for quite some time thanks to my unique experience with "Only Child Syndrome" lol I'd rather not go into details about that at this time, but I'm sure I'll recall a funny story or something in which to introduce that "Character" to the Blog.
Lastly, I wanted to offer an exchange of sort; I challenge you (speaking in general) to replace the term "hate" with speaking of the opposite, which is what you "love" giving focus to the positive while dismissing (rebuking) the negative. In addition there of course are (insert common noun here) that we truly dislike; and that's fine/ okay/ acceptable. However, let's say we limited the amount of expressions of "dislike" to what is absolutely necessary. I find some people only seem to express what they dislike and to be quite "frank", "that's that shit I don't like". It seems rather than spending countless hours and energy on what is disliked, the focus and intent could be used toward something of value and/ or meaning. I've been practicing the exchange of my "dislikes" for things "I would rather" be doing. After making that shift, I've felt a difference; it's still developing so as I continue to make my observations I will share my findings at some point I'm sure.
Hopefully, something I've shared may have sparked your own thoughts, feelings, insights, experiences regarding the topic; if so I'd love to know how (if at all) you were effected.
Be Well & Thrive as you approach your day, I pray you have a good one.
Namasté
photo credit: from the_nail_polish_addict on Instagram. If you have the opportunity, check out her page, it is beyond words to/ for me. Full of positive motivation along with Divine inspiration.
