I've begun drawing, at least in my head for now. I intend to capture the images onto paper in the near future. Not to share, but to stretch my imagination in a way I haven't practiced in quite some time. At times, I question if I am attempting to be a writer or if it is truly something I desire to become. Even as I question myself I drift into thought of things I daydream about, the writings left unpublished as well as the songs composed in my heart. I am not sure why I stopped myself from expressing these things before, or why I've decided to share so much now; I suppose I reached a point where keeping everything to myself was no longer satisfying. I've read a few notes from a journal simply titled "thoughts", when I purchased it I envisioned pages upon pages, filled with ramblings as well as stories and perhaps the makings of a book. However, after dealing with a few matters along with the ever-present mental health issues I seem to have taken a step back. For no major reason other than lack of inspiration as well as misplaced passion in my words.
I am beginning to feel as if with the onset of Spring the healing I've been seeking is also in the atmosphere. Some things that were burden's no longer occupy that particular space. Along with the understanding that grieving is a necessary process and everyone handles it differently. Recently, I started keeping better track of my time in addition to my "diet". I figured as the new year began it was time for me to make better choices, including investing into my Self. I am glad to say that I am finally beginning to see some results, but due to impatience I would like them to be visible sooner. More like, immediately (lol). Lately, I've been researching detox/ cleansing tea's; it's a bit overwhelming, because there weren't as many to chose from when I first began this journey a few year's ago. I thought about completing a Master Cleanse again, but the last attempt wasn't as successful as I had experienced in the past. I am not completely sure why, but I don't want to waste time or resources; seeing how my main focus are in the results.
Aside from that I am continuously focused on my well-being and looking for ways to improve my conditions. It seems as if the routine I have is working with some adjustments on the horizon. Which is good news! So I am being patient with the process of how my writing seems to flow as well as looking forward to improving and sharing more.
