The World Outside My Window

"…But the human tongue is a beast that few can master. It strains constantly to break out of its cage, and if it is not tamed, it will run wild and cause you grief." - from 48 Laws of Power; Law 4, Always Say Less Than Necessary I recall when I was in my 20's (especially), I used to "pop off" at the mouth (easily); always "just sayin".  There was one night in particular where I was out with a friend and friends of hers, at a club and this random guy was a bit too touchy and ungentlemanly for my taste. Well, after I'd had enough (which didn't take long), I started talking all types of shit.  I wish I could remember the exchange, but it's neither here nor there at this point.  Anyway, had things escalated it would've been a situation of "when keeping it real goes wrong".... Over the years I've learned to control my self a lot better.  In that situation I (try my best to) defuse the situation before it gets too out of ...

I've decided not too long ago that I would take an introspective look concerning my issues with vulnerability. It seems I feel as if it is a weakness that many choose to prey upon; as opposed to a strength that only the brave and courageous are willing to explore.  With each post I am confronted by my comfort zone which often leads to a slight debate regarding which parts to edit away and which should stay.  Or which should remain in a private journal rather than being posted on the Blog; not to mention the thoughts, feelings and emotions that I must hold onto until a therapist is secured and I can share my Self completely without judgement or criticism.   I believe needs come in all shapes, sizes and forms; they can also be specific to sentimental times in a person's life.  For me, a few months of the year brings about "Anniversaries" and "Awareness" or "Observation" on special dates that have either changed my life or are now a part of the j...

As I sit here, I decided to re-read the drafts currently awaiting completion.  I've decided, they are too personal.  Part of me wishes I was able to bypass that "feeling" today, but I know that I'll only regret sharing anything prematurely.  In this moment I am both happy yet my heart feels broken; for various reasons.  So far the wine and weed (medicinal marijuana) are helping, you see I am out of medication ( lol & smh ).  I returned from my trip and somehow my pharmacy has difficulty filling my prescriptions (insert blank stare). You'd think there would be some type of provision for this type of circumstance; nope.  From the attitude of the staff, "no fucks" were given; thankfully and with much prayer and "alternative" approaches to Anxiety Disorder and Severe Depression, I did not wind up in the Hospital (again). The level(s) of aloofness are baffling to me; the things that consume my thoughts are at times overwhelming. While other...

Like (almost) everyone, I anticipated the return of Winter Season programming on television; trouble came when my "faves" returned and could not hold my interest.  Without realizing it, I practically don't watch anything anymore; that is unless something comes to mind and I YouTube it.  When doing that it's mostly music or something that will provide (spiritual/ mental) enlightenment, growth and/or wisdom.  Once it came to my awareness I than took inventory on where my thoughts were and what my words and actions created. To my surprise, I had accomplished some things that were on the "back burner" for quite some time.  To say I was/am overjoyed by the amount of checks on my "to do list", I even realized how much extra time I had each day.   During my trip to Nevada I entertained a vegetarian style of eating and actually enjoyed it; I believe I lasted about 5- 6 days and felt a difference; however due to my specific type of allergies, a "d...

I f the last words (you spoke/ wrote/ thought) in regards to yourself or an Other were in fact the last words ever spoken; how would you feel? 

In simplicity I am nurtured by the calmness of the Divine and her Lover... the Universe. Selah. My Lover consumes me; from my Crown and throughout the heights and depths of my Soul. My God completes me; I am whole yet enhanced by the love I choose to believe. Mind. Body. And Soul.

Initially I was hesitant to discuss this "publicly", however I am currently donating my time towards the Blog, the Books (ideas, character development, etc.), two websites and starting a Non-Profit; in addition to providing care and concern to my Self, my mental health and the needs of my Loved Ones. I've dreamed of this for so long; it's truly a blessing to align myself with my goals, dreams, hopes, desires.. and watch them unfold. I slightly underestimated the amount of time these projects will take however I did not underestimate the love, effort and dedication they will require to come to life fully. I am beyond excited. Happy Thursday!

I am currently sorting through various feelings concerning my health and over all well-being.  This time away has really allowed me to take an introspective look at my self as well as my goals, hopes and dreams.  I feel an intense desire to work hard as well as smart to ensure my life is designed exactly as my God and I are creating.   The other day I decided to watch "The Secret" again, to my surprise I truly understood why I'd incorporated many of the practices taught in that documentary; and to say the ones I've consistently made my best effort to observe have been successful.  In more than a few areas of my life; helping me to see clearly the areas which still need a bit of care and improvement.  I begun an expression to share with the Blog a few days ago as a follow-up to " Venus on Display " and " Venus on Display: "Trust Issues, Thirst Traps and Guilt Tripping" , yet each time I dive a bit deeper into my Self, I tend to pause and ne...

I am super excited about the writing I've been doing as well as what I have in mind to share.  I am enjoying my Journey thusfar and I'm currently on my way to enjoy a hike followed by whatever the Day brings.  Just wanted to touch basis with you all and wish you a very happy 1111! I intend to share more, but until then.... Love.

I awoke this Morning feeling rested and excited for this journey to "officially" begin.  The past couple of days have been priceless; catching up with Loved Ones and meeting the new additions; from first sight I knew they are Beautiful Souls.  My Heart melted. Beginning today I am focusing on an area of my Being that I only discuss with my Doctors and friends on a "need to know" basis.  Well, I suppose I've decided to share in the hopes to bring awareness and perhaps prevention to anOther. My tummy is at one of it's worse states of Being, as IBS ( Irritable Bowel Syndrome ) has taken over.  Little does it know, Cleansing, Lifestyle changes as well as my commitment to "Team Fitness" are about to take over! Pray my strength, endurance and healing. Namaste

There's a blanket, fruit and wine. It's set under the play yard. Obscured by slides and other play things. Although we don't notice any of it. The Sun sets and the Sky changes in such majestic colors; filling the air with love and desire. We talk and touch as we await the Moon. Once darkness falls our clothes disappear as if they were powered by Sunlight. We admire one another as our shadows and the sound of our breathing echoes in the Night air. Followed by the love we will express as our breath and bodies become One.