The World Outside My Window

"Even if you have nothing to write, write and say so." Marcus Tullius Cicero Each Night I stare at my laptop with the desire to write something worth sharing.  I have 7 drafts, however each time I read them I feel as if they are too personal to share; so I debate deleting.  I've even considered deleting the Blog and starting one I've had in mind for some time now.  Then I reconsidered, the concept is much more personal than the current one. The thing is, I finally realized what's been holding me back. I don't know how to describe it completely,  I recall a time when I'd sit at the computer or my laptop and the words would overflow.  That was prior to the diagnosis as well as in the beginning stages of the disorder(s). Knowing that I've chosen to publicize my Blog suddenly brings about a certain type of Anxiety I am not quite familiar with.     I don't know how much I can discuss, but I recall when I first spoke out about what I felt was hap...

There's a blanket, fruit and wine. It's set under the play yard. Obscured by slides and other play things. Although we don't notice any of it. The Sun sets and the Sky changes in such majestic colors; filling the air with love and desire. We talk and touch as we await the Moon. Once darkness falls our clothes disappear as if they were powered by Sunlight. We admire one another as our shadows and the sound of our breathing echoes in the Night air. Followed by the love we will express as our breath and bodies become One.

My body craves you as I stare into the colors of the Autumn Sky. The rich reds, pinks, purples, blues and orange, entice my senses and I can only imagine our bodies intertwined. Your hands roaming the softness that is my skin while my tongue trace your Manhood. Both searching to quench the thirst that has become of our lust. Or perhaps it's love; in its most primitive form. As I feel like a Cave Woman awaiting Man to come from his fights with the beasts of the land looking for yet another to conquer.  He enters, grabbing my hair with a hand on my neck and then loosening the grip of my hair in exchange for caressing the body; knowing I belong to only Him. Smelling of delicious sweat and sweet desire we become One, creating passionate sounds and enticing scents that only lovers could create. Our auras glow in the darkness, maybe under the Stars or in the secret places He finds for us. Abandoning reality and all that's left is the Beautiful Fantasy written underneath an Orange Sky...

My wings want me to fly away My feet says run as fast as you can My heart beats in sync with the cadence of your voice My head reassures me; truly, madly... Deeply. 

Right now I need you Between my ears In my thoughts Assuring me that... "All is well". Right now I want you Inside my Heart Beating with me Syncing our vibe And securing our bond. Right now I'm wondering Why aren't you here? Where have you been? And most importantly, how can I get you back into the space where we are One? Right now i love you.  *written on October 19, 2014 @ 3:21pm

I wish you knew what you truly mean to me.  I'd honestly hate to "see" you out of my life.  I'm sure you'll do great, I just know, or should I say... I believe my expressions are unmatched.  Loving and fucking unknown to the average "human" Being. My desire runs though my veins like Vodka; or Rum; made by the Jamacian Priestess I once was.  Perhaps you put a spell on me.  There's a thought! As I have become consumed by you. Fiending like a junkie awaiting my next "hit".  I need it right now; I think more than my next breath. 

I've been to the East many times before, however never in this capacity. Everything appears the same as I remember, yet there's something altogether different this time. The Sky I adore is the same, but the Stars are brighter and the weather remains neutral; while the Sun and Moon battle to display their altered states of Being in this foreign land.  In some ways I expected the experience to be the way it has and on other days I long to return to the Sea. The Shore gives me hope of endless possibilities, and a bit of intrigue as at times I debate taking an anchor and returning to my Mermaid Life. Then I remember the Ones I'd leave behind, along with the Ones who would actually notice and care that I was no more. So I embrace this place called Earth; Lightyears from "Home" and plot to build the Empire I see in my memories. Rediscovering ways to intertwine the lives I left behind, my newfound fantasies, along with this reality. All with the knowing that I am co-...

Your brown eyes dance when they meet mine.  Your delicate hands and tiny feet are quite adorable on your petite frame.  The roundness of your cheeks and curve of your smile send me to a Space in my mind where "Beautiful" resides.  Soft waves, deep curls or bone straight; the hair captivates me.  The way in which you adorn your self reminds me of our first Christmas; sparkling and unexpected.  Your soft lips caress my hand and I only wish they were attached to some one else, so I could truly experience them against mine.  The delimma of Loving you and realizing I'm simply Loving me. 

I don't know when, where or how we'll meet.  I don't know who you are, but I know why... I long for you; already. The smell of your hair, the touch of your skin, your caress.  The way your body feels against mine.  The sound of your voice as we exchange ancient secrets and form new recipes of passion; leaving us both in the land of bliss.  In search of an oasis to quench our desires. I have a suspicion once our Eyes meet you'll know it too.  You'll have a knowing; that just like I do. you Love me; already.

"Be thirsty Heart, seek forever without a rest.  Let this soundless longing hidden deep inside you be the source of every word you say" - Rumi The other evening while working on my fitness, I thought of revisiting a form of writing I'd long abandoned.  I've written wedding vows for my self approximately three times, obviously never taking the opportunity to recite them.  I remember the first poem I wrote; my Aunt assisted me, nevertheless the poem was selected to be published in some school book, I don't recall what type; I just know it wasn't the yearbook.  This was in Junior High School.   I remember some time later I felt "some type of way" and tore up the only copy I had.  Shortly after doing so I promised my self I'd never do that again. Is there a word stronger than "Love"?  If so that's what I feel for Venus; she's my "Planet of Love" as well as the "Love Planet" of the Universe and I adore He...