The World Outside My Window

I recall posting throughout the years about seeking to be more responsible; thinking things would magically come together and I could tackle each area of my life one by one; boy, was I wrong.  Shortly after I discovered an avalanche of "trouble" and overwhelming feelings ranging from disbelief to confusion; eventually got things on track for the better.  That's usually when we take a sigh of relief and "Thank GOD, that's over".  The past few days I've had thoughts about "Getting Over" something, which to me is the lighter or "easier" way around various challenges life may bring.  I find this process takes much longer because of the amount of time denying there's anything to get over in the first place.  Then once we come to terms with the reality of the matter some may sweep it under the rug only to trip over it somewhere down the line.  This year has shown many ups and downs for me, however this time I am seeking a deeper unde...

I've never been the type to believe that I had the ability to "change" anyone; nor do I attempt to.  I realized very early in life that my only obligation was to change, rather improve my Self.  As a perfectionist with a sheltered upbringing, I found myself quite judgmental, however I kept my judgments to my Self.  I was super critical of my thoughts, actions as well as my words.  The good thing for Others, was that I am a true introvert.  I absolutely adore the time spent with myself, just as much (if not more) than being in the company of a group.   I don't recall what sparked in me.  Honestly, until this moment, I never questioned or examined it. As I've shared in previous expressions, 2009 was the year I moved from my family with the desire to truly grow into the Woman I desire to be.  The Woman I knew was buried inside, dying to show herself to "the world".  It was my Soul yearning for something more amazing; something I'd never ...

I don't cry (often); I've mentioned that before in previous posts, however for the past week I've been trying to cry.  My eyes are watery and a tear or two has escaped, but not the out pour that I need to occur.  After more research or should I say, investigation, I can now prove that this unwanted weight is a direct side effect from the medication I was prescribed.  Of course there will be no apology, and to be honest what good would it do anyway.  I spent the beginning months of this year ruling out pregnancy which of course triggered emotions I wasn't expecting, but once that was finally ruled out I attempted to change eating habits as well as fitness routines all to no avail.  Now here we are half way through the year and the truth is discovered.  I was right, so why do I feel so hopeless and depressed? I've had several "lectures" ranging from someone really close to me to people overstepping their boundaries to tell me to "push back from the...

I spent some time this weekend reading through The Blog; first randomly selecting posts which lead to reading the associated entry, before I knew it I was lost in my own words for hours. I know I mentioned the thought of deleting and starting anew, but I've decided not to. The truth is: the thoughts and feelings shared were from my Heart; and to delete or attempt to "erase" them won't take away the space it filled during that time. I began The Blog hmmm around 2008 (iBelieve) with private settings as a way to process my thoughts and feelings. I had no intention on sharing them with anyone, let alone "strangers". So in 2012 when I had the conversation to change settings to public (see, " Comfort Zone(s)" ) I made sure to delete almost all of the posts I'd published (2008- 2010). Overall, I am glad that I did since those thoughts were extremely personal not to mention private; and I know I would've been quite uncomfortable sharing. This ...

As I look over my drafts as well as the number of entries this year I find myself asking "What Happened?".  It seems I may have gotten distracted, various things come to mind especially the post My New Baby ; I was so excited to introduce my words to another audience however I may have gone about it prematurely.  I later wrote What's Missing... which was a good start (in my mind) to introduce myself and combine both blogs.  Well, I realize I didn't have the proper time or resources to commit to both.  Add to that insomnia, anxiety and some of life's obstacles and you have what's happened; one post per month...   I intend to "do better" in the months to come, especially as the year comes to an end.  I find myself reflecting a bit early, and I can see my growth as well as some areas where I need work.  Thanks again for being a part of this journey, I am unsure where it leads exactly however with each new step, challenge, accomplishme...

As I am catching up on my Bible app plans, I came across the following Devotional; when describes (confirms) the entire purpose I had in mind when it was chosen. I hope as you read the words you feel them in your Heart as encouragement to continue or as a slight nudge you may have been seeking or ignoring.  I pray whichever the case, you'll allow The Creator of your Soul to complete the work in you that only you were Destined to Fulfill.  Namasté ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ App: Youversion  Plan: She Reads Truth: Prayer in the Bible Kingdom Praying “Thy kingdom come.”  (Matthew 6:10, KJV) When Jesus teaches the disciples how to pray in Matthew 6, the very first instruction He gives in the prayer pattern is kingdom praying. If ever we needed an indication of how important it is to pray for His Kingdom, it is here. But what exactly are we praying for when we are praying kingdom prayers? If prayers of praise are turning our focus  upward , and prayers of confession turn our ...