The World Outside My Window

is it True? is it Helpful? is it Inspiring? is it Necessary? is it Kind? Do you truly "T.H.I.N.K" before you speak? Typically I do, however the way I think has changed over time. Before my only care was if I found it "true" and "necessary", you know the "let me tell you about yourself" approach, funny thing about that is: not everyone cares if its actually true, as in "a fact". Most seem to simply operate out of their truth, which is subjective based on the number of facts they believe they have. Not researching further into a situation prior to speaking what they may know nothing or very little about. I was such a bitch, however it was because I said the things to someone's face that others gossip about behind their backs. I didn't care about friends, being liked or anyone's feelings, I figured "someone had to tell'em". Then I asked myself, "why do you HAVE to be that someone"? So I stopped. ...

After writing I have this "habit" of proof reading several times before hitting "publish" some posts I have to "sleep" on to make sure it's coming from the proper tone & space. For this I attribute (no longer placing "blame" or pointing fingers) the lovely OCD and those often amusing Perfectionist tendencies.  Last night, rather this Morning was one of those times. After reading it with various perspectives in mind, i decided to publish and share. I felt as if the tone was appropriate and those words wanted to get out; along with a few other posts i am organizing in my thoughts. I had a little trouble sleeping as i could not get my Mind to "shut down", finally the many techniques work and I'm off to my Dreams. I awoke to compliments, new "followers" and an offer to join a blogging network.  I am humbled, thankful and grateful to God for the gift He has entrusted in me. I'm still in awe of the relationship I...

It seems to happen randomly; I'll have a thought and while I am still processing it, my mind is flooded with several others.  Each more challenging then the first.  This mainly happens while I am attempting to do several other things; I typically like to multi-task.  It keeps Boredom away; I can't recall the last time I felt "Bored".  I find it interesting when people say that to me, "I'm bored" or they'll seem shocked or surprised when I tell them I rarely feel that way; and the moment I do, I treat it the same as "Insomnia"; I'll ask my Self  "what do you want to learn?", this is typically followed my a few thoughts, recommendations or ideas and I "choose one".  Problem solved...   I have been wanting to write for quite some time, yet the words were so scrambled it begain aggravating my Migraine so I'd have to push it to the side.  Recently, I began to jot down the Thoughts that come or Ideas; in the past ...

Typically, i don't read my horoscope until the day is over. I recall during my "Great Depression", I'd read it daily and by the last sentence/word I was so upset because my life and the words expressed were extremely different. I felt as if reading it was a joke and/or a waste of time. I figured "whose life is that 'pretty' (for lack of a better word)?" I don't know if it was my skepticism that my life could be the way it was expressed in these words or if I it was the low energy in which I dwelled that kept me from believing it were possible. Or perhaps a combination of the two. Once I began to change my energy, I noticed my life and my horoscope were beginning to align themselves and I found a peace in seeing confirmation (a pat on the back or "good job" so to speak) and I depended on it (my horoscope) less and less. I began to turn to my Bible (the actual book as well as the mobile app), prayer and meditation instead, only checking...

I need to work at "getting to the point", honestly I believe that's for casual relationships. However, in business and/or personal relationships you should enjoy sharing the details. Improper sharing may result in casualties, oftentimes at your own expense (is that a coincidence?). I believe presentation is extremely important. To the point, if a dish isn't visually appealing, I can't eat it. Some will say, "that's unreasonable", I agree to disagree and move on to the next thing. Yet, I can be unreasonable with other things. I don't always recognize it so I usually asks randumbly. I've learned, or so it seems, when I have to ask if I'm being unreasonable, oftentimes it's because I am. Here's a weird, fun fact: I consider #Insomnia to be one of my best friends. We met during my first pregnancy. I had a job, full schedule of classes and I was becoming a single mother (and I hated kids, smh)... I couldn't figure out how I...

As some have noticed, it's been a while since I've shared my thoughts with you. On one hand, I'd like to apologize however I'm not sure why. As I pause for a moment to ask myself why I felt this way, the thought "it would be the nice thing to do" came to mind. On the other hand, as I've expressed on Twitter and in previous posts; I try not to use this as an outlet for whining and/or complaining. So I decided to "be still" until I had the words to share. I'm not quite sure where to begin or how much to share so this should be interesting lol. I decided it was time for me to return to church, this was a few months ago. So I prayed and meditated on what I needed, I was very clear with God as well as myself that I wasn't at all interested in "playing church". I wanted to be taught, nurtured, understood and productive. I didn't want to just sit in the pew and leave the same way I'd arrived. So after like months of conversa...

I'd convinced myself that I was not depressed,  I rationalized the fact that the way I behaved and felt was vastly different from the actions and words I expressed when I was obviously feeling that way.  So I shrugged it off and told myself that my psychiatrist was missing something as we exchanged words regarding my current medication which no longer worked and the replacement he'd suggested.  I make a point to research medications before taking them, I also make sure to discuss my other medications and herbs that I take to ensure it will not interfere with anything.   Finally I realized I've been putting off washing my hair for 2 weeks now, which means I havent washed my hair in 3 weeks, I am disgusted as I admit these words.  I know that something is wrong, so I began to be completely honest with myself and I prayed and in that moment I accepted the truth, which is I need to pick up my prescription, I was somewh...

If you've ever dealt with a situation or circumstance mostly out of your control it is inevitable that you will experience some level of frustration, stress and/or annoyance.  You will encounter "representatives" who are either incompetent, inefficient or both. All of which I have a very low patience for ( insert heavy sigh here ). Especially when people act as if they are doing you a favor by half ass doing their job, it amazes me how often I've come across this experience since the events leading up to the initial anxiety attack in September 2012. I've encountered the most unprofessional company I think I've ever experienced in my life, the unhelpful gentleman did not acknowledge my request to speak with a supervisor however continued to repeat information that I already advised him of when I initially requested to speak with higher management.  As he was made aware, although I appreciate his efforts, I need to speak with someone with the authority...

I've always been fascinated by the moon, especially a "full moon".   I'm not exactly sure how the energy seems different, but there's a unique feeling in the air as the phases of the moon change.  I remember when I first realized it and began reading various theories about it, the most commonly known information is that the Moon is considered feminine energy where the Sun is considered masculine.  Perhaps, that's why I find it interesting, because of the vibe associated with feminine energy is much calmer than that of it's counterpart.  As I reflect on the day and random thoughts I feel a very peaceful energy surrounding me.    I attended a youth service today and the message was right in alignment with various conversations I've had recently.  In the past I would of thought of that as eerie or strange, however as my awareness of the Universe and my relationship with the Creator of the Universe continues to develop I understand how it all plays a ...

You ever have one of those days where the tears start to fall and while exhausting every effort to make them stop, you finally submit and allow them to continue until there are no more?  Well, that was my day; actually it begun last night and continued off and on throughout the day.  I got up with the intention to go on a relaxing hike and spend the day with family, however the drive was filled with tears as well.  By the time I reached my destination I realized I hadn't eaten since yesterday afternoon so I allowed the "fat girl" to make the selection.  Needless to say I didn't hike as planned. As I cried, I prayed and expressed to God my anger, resentment, frustration, heartache and disappointment.  I realized how frustrated I am with the circumstances surrounding the "Land of the Lost" ; without going into detail, I find myself angry and stressed due to the way things are being handled.  I find myself seeking guidance (continuously) and I feel stupid...

I used to beat myself so hard because I had things "undone", I guess it's a combo of OCD and some other things which creates this sense of urgency.  However over time I've learned to understand that everything happens in it's "due season".  True, it could, and you may even feel as if it should happen NOW, but what if it isn't the Primetime which most likely means there isn't enough preparation, understanding, skills, maturity, etc. to achieve the level of success or convey the right message.  I guess it's like when you crave a certain fruit, you may rush out to get it just for it to be sour or not as delightful as you had fantasized.    The same could be said with words, you know the moment it/they leave your mouth and the voice in your head says "I shouldn't have said that"?  So I'm learning the same is true with opportunity, relationships and some plans.  Often times, I try not to get upset when plans don't pan ou...

"Search other for their virtues, thyself for thy vices".  Benjamin Franklin So earlier this week I challenged myself to change my drink, from needing some type of mixture to going straight over ice with lime.  Well, here's the funny thing: somehow over the past few days that drink has morphed into water over ice with lime.  I'm not saying I'll never drink vodka again; I just know somethings changing. "There is no vice so simple but assumes some mark of virtue on his outward parts". Shakespeare   vices & virtue quotes