The World Outside My Window

As I sit here, I decided to re-read the drafts currently awaiting completion.  I've decided, they are too personal.  Part of me wishes I was able to bypass that "feeling" today, but I know that I'll only regret sharing anything prematurely.  In this moment I am both happy yet my heart feels broken; for various reasons.  So far the wine and weed (medicinal marijuana) are helping, you see I am out of medication ( lol & smh ).  I returned from my trip and somehow my pharmacy has difficulty filling my prescriptions (insert blank stare). You'd think there would be some type of provision for this type of circumstance; nope.  From the attitude of the staff, "no fucks" were given; thankfully and with much prayer and "alternative" approaches to Anxiety Disorder and Severe Depression, I did not wind up in the Hospital (again). The level(s) of aloofness are baffling to me; the things that consume my thoughts are at times overwhelming. While other...

I'm curious; or rather questioning my thought(s) and decided to allow them to flourish. Do you find yourself using your words to "cast" torment/ misfortune upon your Self and/or Others (deformation) or are you speaking blessings and good will/ tidings to your Self and/ or Others (affirmations)? As I've awakened my Core along with (Concious Effort) towards managing a healthy Chakra balance I find myself much more sensitive to words than ever before. I recall as a child if someone (an Authority Figure) spoke harshly to me I would sincerely cry; as a result I rarely received spankings, if I were to count the number in total it would be far less than "average" and viewed as either "laughable" or "spoiled"; however when a peer used harsh words with me I'd return the sentiment and overall I've had approximately 5 (give or take, as I'm relying on my Memory) physical altercations from Elementary through High School. As a Y...