The World Outside My Window

“Be the light. Touch the world. Give people your power to see. Show them your soul.” Expherience It’s interesting to see the growth in the girl who began this blog, realizing some beliefs that no longer serve me and how I have learned to recognize their origin. Becoming a woman is not an easy task; I think the most appreciated change has been maturity in various aspects of the word. I am learning to “be the light” and the more challenging, “give people your power to see”; I tend to like to stay low-key. People are often surprised (irl) when they discover a talent or gift that I possess, although it may be something I’m extremely familiar with I may shy away from the exposure or attention. I’m working on that, even in my sharing on this blog as well as the other . Oftentimes I have thoughts of writing or words to share and I’ll talk myself out of it, for fear of the unknown… One of my goals for the new year is to be more expressive in my writing, sharing and in my daily lif...

I always have a difficult time deciding what to "give up" for lent. My first thought is always communication; or should I say "people"? I'll keep my reasons to my self.  The funny part is, it's typically because of my "attitude" during this time; the few times I've chosen to participate in lent, I gave up communication in addition to a dietary change.  Since dealing with various changes in my life as well as with my health, I am considering trying a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle as a way to challenge myself for lent.  Then I thought how trivial that is in the grand scheme of things.  Only because I've done those types of cleanses or fasting before, where's the challenge in that?  I suppose a greater challenge would be to commit to writing; well posting more often for the next 40 days.  There's a thought... Although I am not Catholic, I find myself incorporating various customs from other religions in an attempt to gain spiritual ...

"The wound is the place where the Light enters you."  - Rumi* At the end of Summer 2012 I underwent surgery;  at the time I believed it was in my best interest.  Yet about 3 months later clouds of vanity interrupted the practical reality of the pain and suffering (physically as well as financially) caused by the issue in the first place.  I believe I have finally reached a space in my Being where I understand how that could be classified as a "flaw".  Nevertheless, my humanity is unhappy with the scars and pain that I deal with years later.  As a woman of a certain age, my Body has begun different changes that I have yet to grow accustomed to; along with my other issues, things have gotten a bit overwhelming.  Some days I remember my youth with fondness, however as I am typing these words which are coming from an unfamiliar space, I realize, I am still young!  Acknowledging my battle with Severe Depression is tough for a (self-diagnosed) N...

At times I feel as if I wear my Heart on my sleeve; I make an attempt to conceal it, but I feel as if it shows regardless.  Some times I wish I was more nonchalant about things.  Not allowing them to get under my skin, although I already know that's an impossibility for me.  Funny because it was difficult prior to the Anxiety Disorder,  so now it's mind blowing how sensitive I can become.  I dislike feeling as if I am "using" the disorder as a crutch or a scapegoat, but in reality I am aware that I am not how I once was; nor will I ever be again. That's the part that gets to me the most, to understand that I have changed on many levels; one of which I am not in alignment with.  As a Capricorn I can be quite moody by nature, but adding to that the disorders, conditions, phobias, etc. all of which are out of my control and based upon an element of my self that I am still discovering, is quite overwhelming.  I struggle daily to keep the feelings "in ...

I've decided not too long ago that I would take an introspective look concerning my issues with vulnerability. It seems I feel as if it is a weakness that many choose to prey upon; as opposed to a strength that only the brave and courageous are willing to explore.  With each post I am confronted by my comfort zone which often leads to a slight debate regarding which parts to edit away and which should stay.  Or which should remain in a private journal rather than being posted on the Blog; not to mention the thoughts, feelings and emotions that I must hold onto until a therapist is secured and I can share my Self completely without judgement or criticism.   I believe needs come in all shapes, sizes and forms; they can also be specific to sentimental times in a person's life.  For me, a few months of the year brings about "Anniversaries" and "Awareness" or "Observation" on special dates that have either changed my life or are now a part of the j...