The World Outside My Window

The quote "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear" popped in my head several times yesterday.  So when it came to mind today, it was followed by a thought of my own:  the teacher was there all along, the student was just unwilling or unprepared to see.   I remember a particular area in my life, I've mentioned various degrees in several posts about how I refused to take the relationship advise of a friend when it came to a certain person.  My friend would tell me to say or do things and I'd respond "I'm not doing that!" or "I'm not saying that!" ; not because I disagreed with her instruction, but because I was unwilling to be vulnerable along with the fear of rejection.  Finally, I don't recall what triggered the switch, but I realized how much time I'd lost and how my interaction with this person had grown worse over time.  I was able to admit the percentage contributed by me so I can't just chalk it up to ...

JEHOVAH-JIREH - "The Lord our provider" - This is also the name Abraham gave to the place where the Lord provided a sacrifice in place of Isaac. ( Gen. 22:14 ). JEHOVAH-NISSI -"Our banner, a banner of love and protection" - Also the name Moses gave to the altar he built after defeating the Amalekites ( Ex. 17:15 ). JEHOVAH-SHALOM -"Our perfect peace" - Also the name Gideon gave to the altar he built at Ophrah ( Judges 6:24 ) JEHOVAH-TSID-KENU -"The Lord is our righteousness " - The name is applied to a future Davidic king who would lead his people to do what is right and thus bring peace ( Jeremiah 23:6 ) and to the restored city of Jerusalem ( Jeremiah 33:16 ). The name is possibly a play on the name of Zedekiah ("Righteous [is] the Lord") who reigned from 597 to 587 B.C. JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH -"The One Who is with us everywhere for He is Omnipresent" - The Jerusalem of Ezekiel's vision ( see Ezek...

I will admit, it was extremely hard to get out of bed.  I set my alarm and surprisingly for the first time in days I actually woke up before it went off.  Normally, I just don't hear it, which is strange since that's typically not an issue or me.  So I begin with prayer and meditation (see, Hello, Good Morning! ) then I am reminded that I have a therapy appointment.  It was truly a struggle to leave my bed for several reasons:  I was comfortable, I have a cold or sinus whatever and a migraine that I've been fighting since Wednesday.  That justifies missing my appointment, right? WRONG! I have a thought,  "Obedience is better than Sacrifice" so I drag myself out of bed and try to pull myself together so I look somewhat presentable. I realize that it's my own fault if I am late for my appointment, so at some point I say a quick prayer requesting to get there on time or at maximum 10 minutes late.  I ha...

I've always been fascinated by the moon, especially a "full moon".   I'm not exactly sure how the energy seems different, but there's a unique feeling in the air as the phases of the moon change.  I remember when I first realized it and began reading various theories about it, the most commonly known information is that the Moon is considered feminine energy where the Sun is considered masculine.  Perhaps, that's why I find it interesting, because of the vibe associated with feminine energy is much calmer than that of it's counterpart.  As I reflect on the day and random thoughts I feel a very peaceful energy surrounding me.    I attended a youth service today and the message was right in alignment with various conversations I've had recently.  In the past I would of thought of that as eerie or strange, however as my awareness of the Universe and my relationship with the Creator of the Universe continues to develop I understand how it all plays a ...

"Leave My Body" Florence + the Machine Whenever I hear this song it reminds me of the scripture which speaks of how "being absent from the body is to be present with The Lord."   At times, I pray to leave my body, even if it's just for a few moments or a day or two.  I honestly believe this may have happened a time or two, for example when I had the car accident (see, Saturday, November 5, 2005 ) and was unconscious for an unknown period of time.  Like, what happens during that space in time?  Or when people are in a coma or whatever, I know what scientist say, however I believe that may be a time when you (generally speaking) may be in the presence of The Lord.  I don't know why this was on my mind this morning, well actually, let me explain . I'm up, dressed, out the door and in the car.  As I pull off I realize there's something wrong with my car and I intend to be somewhere at a certain time to assist in the preparation for a meeting.  A...

What does my name mean? Hidden within your name is a special meaning.  What does the name “Kamille” mean? A name is much more than just a name! K is for kid, the child within. A is for agreeable, the best side of you! M is for melody, the song of life. I is for ignite, the fire in you! L is for loyalty, that you show . L is for laughter, you spread wherever you go. E is for exotic, no lack of spirit here!   The name “Kamille” is of Arabic origin and it means “Perfection” . It’s a name commonly given to girls. According to the 1991 U.S. Social Security Administration data, the name “Kamille” is not a popular baby girl’s name in California. Imagine that, only 13 babies in California have the same name as you in 1991. Across the entire United States a total of only 75 babies also bear the same first name during the same year. From 1880 to 2011, the highest recorded use of the name “Kamille” was in 2011 with a total of 256 babies. Since 1880, ...

Free public star parties are held monthly with the assistance of the Los Angeles Astronomical Society and the Los Angeles Sidewalk Astronomers at the Griffith Observatory from 2:00 p.m. to 9:45 p.m. They are a chance for the whole family to look at the sun, moon, visible planets, and other objects, to try out a variety of telescopes, and to talk to knowledgeable amateur astronomers about the sky and their equipment. Please be aware that the astronomers and telescope demonstrators must cut off the line for each telescope to enable all viewing to be completed by 9:45 p.m. Hours for telescope operation are not the same as for the building (which closes at 10:00 p.m.). Public Star Parties for 2013 January 19 February 16 March 16 April 20 May 18 June 15 July 13 August 17 September 14 October 12 November 9 December

Between the three (3) cleanses I've done this year, adopting the practice of meditation and repairing my prayer life I've discovered a renewed relationship with God.  The interesting thing about it is, that wasn't my plan.  Over the years I've built a wall around my heart in an effort to keep everyone out, over time it even included God.   I recall 1999, I found myself pregnant by a "man" who (I thought) I knew, we were together for about two years prior to this (see, "The Rebound Guy" ).  We dated, he met my father, we did everything a couple would do although there was no true commitment to one another.  I remember the mishap as if it were yesterday, the condom comes off and immediately I knew this would create a problem.  Sure enough, soon after I learn that I am pregnant, and the day I told him he expressed to me how much he hated me, how I was ruining his life and how he wanted to have tons of children, but with his wife a...

When I am honest with myself about certain patterns I have, once they are brought to my awareness I typically make a point to change them.  I am not sure how I overlooked this particular one, but its major and in this moment I understand that it can not continue.   So my friend tells "My First Love" that I want him to be my first, he goes on to say that he cant do that to me and I should take my virginity seriously.  Well that wasn't supposed to happen, months later I decided for no good reason that I would give my virginity to a guy I had been seeing almost immediately after this experience of rejection.  I believe I mentioned this ordeal in "Team Abstinence".  My first time was hilarious, to me, after the fact.  I think everyone who knows me in real life has heard the story, I literally laughed in the man's face and told him to stop and get off of me.  He then says "next time..." I interrupted and made it very clear "there will be no ne...

About a week ago I had a dream, it was all too familiar yet completely different.  I dreamt that I was telling that same guy who occuplied so much of my heart for so many years that I was getting married. When I woke up, the feeling of truth overwhelmed me.  As if this dream was filled with so much possibility.  I quickly emailed him and formed my words from a space of love and to be informative.  I recalled having this feeling once before, which is why I knew I could not keep these thoughts to myself.  The last time I had this feeling was about 4 years ago after he expressed to me that he was getting married to a woman he'd barely known for a few months.  I asked if she were pregnant and he assured me that she wasn't, but I knew better.  To avoid an argument I "accepted" this lie and continued with my life.  I began to have dreams of his unhappiness and how he was making a huge mistake however I refused to be the one to say this to him....

Since my initial cleanse I've come to quite a few revelations which prompted necessary change; for starters I've become happy.  That seems like a no-brainer, right? Well, not really, it wasn't until I reached that space that I realized I had never really been happy before.  Don't get me wrong, I've had moments and even periods of happiness however as soon as life happened or things were no longer "perfect" that happiness vanished.  I recognized there was a huge difference between my life before and what is was becoming now.  I also regained my focus in the gym, I begun taking my workouts more seriously and finally started to see my desired results.  I made some adjustments in my diet and began to consider giving up meat.  Now that I am in this new/ unknown space, I begun to think "I need to meet new people", so with much harassment from a friend I decided to join an online dating site.  As I came across various exes and a few newcomers that cou...

I found myself in a very helpless/hopeless space, I felt my walls closing in on me and I had no one and nowhere to go for help. I was completely frustrated with my life in every aspect imaginable (financial struggles, relationships, career, not to mention body image and self esteem) however on the outside looking in I appeared to have it all together. In reality, I was ready to drive my car off a cliff! After I began dealing with health issues, uncaring doctors and the struggles we often find ourselves in, I realized I needed something outside of myself to fix it. I realized, me depending solely on myself for every decision and opportunity had gotten me to this place. I then stumbled upon a quote, I believe it was Albert Einstein who said "you can not solve a problem at the same level of consciousness in which it was created". Once I read that I was reminded of two amazingly beautiful women I follow on twitter (@BrookeBaileyInc and @VanessaVeasley), initially I followed the...

when making a decision one must factor in the desired outcome.  sometimes I think we blindly choose things without fully debating the "pros" vs. "cons" and understanding the consequences of our action, or sometimes, our inaction.  It seems that people often confuse consequences for circumstances and forgot that they are not the same thing,  A circumstance is like, "the hand that life deals you" and you must make the best out of it.  Whereas a consequence is a direct reflection of a choice, whether it was successful or a failure.  No one is responsible for your consequences but YOU however some may say that others contribute to your circumstances.  Either way, you alone must become the master of your fate and shape the journey so that it takes you to your desired destination. lately, I've noticed many people create situations for themselves which are clear consequences of poor decisions and call them "circumstances" and figure they just have...

Okay so he came for "a couple days" which was actually a week and did not make any real effort to see me. The one day he did the time of arrival changed multiple times for various reasons however didn't happen because I live "too far". I will admit I was initially disappointed and hurt mostly because this is the same person (I almost typed 'man' but realized that would not have described him appropriately) who I've driven an hour and 13 minutes (from Los Angeles to Oxnard, yes, I google mapped it just to be sure) to see numerous times AND this is the same guy who asked & expected me to visit him clear across the country. Which my foolishly 'in love' ass was prepared to do without blinking an eyelid. The epiphany occurred as I prepared and eagerly awaited his arrival to realize that he wasn't coming long before the confirmation. I kept thinking 'he's just not that into you' not because I doubt that he loves me, which I ...