I found myself in a very helpless/hopeless space, I felt my walls closing in on me and I had no one and nowhere to go for help. I was completely frustrated with my life in every aspect imaginable (financial struggles, relationships, career, not to mention body image and self esteem) however on the outside looking in I appeared to have it all together. In reality, I was ready to drive my car off a cliff!
After I began dealing with health issues, uncaring doctors and the struggles we often find ourselves in, I realized I needed something outside of myself to fix it. I realized, me depending solely on myself for every decision and opportunity had gotten me to this place. I then stumbled upon a quote, I believe it was Albert Einstein who said "you can not solve a problem at the same level of consciousness in which it was created". Once I read that I was reminded of two amazingly beautiful women I follow on twitter (@BrookeBaileyInc and @VanessaVeasley), initially I followed them because they were obviously gorgeous with amazing bodies, then I discovered their true beauty. They are intelligent and within their friendship they support, encourage and love one another. At one point either one or both of them were doing "the Master Cleanse" and I'd sit on the sideline and take mental notes of their progress and discoveries. In writing that seems kind of creepy, but none of us interact with EVERYONE we follow and we've created or identified the reasons we choose to click that follow or unfollow button. In this space in time I realized I needed to do the master cleanse. So I sent Vanessa and Brooke a tweet asking what their mindset is when doing the cleanse, what is the desired outcome, etc. both lovely ladies answered me and gave me their reasons and benefits for cleansing.
When Brooke replied, her words really hit a spot in my heart and mind because it was exactly what I was looking for, she said "When I cleanse, it's for my mind, body & soul. I focus on me, read my bible, positive books... Once you start your detox from the inside. You will see the advantages on the outside. What you put in your body will show.”. It was settled! Somehow the Universe heard my cry and was guiding me out of my misery. I thought about the mindset I was in and the person I had become, mean, angry, careless, selfish, the list goes on. So I read "The Four Agreements" and completed my 10 day cleanse. Each day was different and I felt myself discarding all of those negative feelings and thoughts. At the end of it, a co-worker said to me "I know you've changed, I can see it and I know you'll never go back". It wasn't until he spoke those words that I'd realized other people could see the effects of my enlightening. I felt as if my eyes had opened and I was waking from a fog of unhappiness. I truly can't recall a time that I felt so good.
In addition to this mental and emotional breakthrough I also realized I shed some pounds. I had been battling my weight for years, nothing worked, from October 2011 to January 2012 with the changes to my diet and exercise I'd only lost a pathetic 10lbs. I was killing myself in the gym, passing up my favorite foods all in the name of "skinny" and skinny could give a fuck less. So I'm cleansing and I face the most difficult day, my BFF and I have a huge argument, of course I don't want to deal with this. Long story short I find myself at a neighbors house and "for fun" I decide to weigh myself, to my surprise in just a few days I had lost 7 lbs! By day 10 I lost a total of 17 lbs. I knew there was no turning back.
I feel like I'm getting "there", wherever that is, but I recognize that there's more work to be done....
