"Your comfort zone is an illusion; keeping you from everything your heart desires"
@ShoesEqualAmore
I took an introspective look at myself once I completed the cleanse in late January/ early February 2012. I found myself in a very unfamiliar space, I understood that I was now "happy" however I felt I needed more, I wanted to remain in this state and never return to the dark, empty, lonely space I had grown to feel comfortable in. I realized I needed to continue to stretch myself and do things that I’d never done before in order to make sure I stayed on this journey I’d accidently discovered. I decided to get more serious about working out, I even found an amazing blog full of health and beauty tips
http://everybodyhatestrish.tumblr.com/ follow @MeanGirlTrishy on Twitter I begun incorporating an herb called "Maca Root" into my diet and begun to see results even quicker than the months prior to the cleanse. I could feel my self confidence increasing and I started to take a little more time and effort getting dressed, doing my hair and applying my make-up (when I chose to wear it), I then decided I was ready to meet new people and start dating. I was starting to question why I hadn’t done any of these things sooner, at no time did I feel overwhelmed or as if things would fall apart. This was why I’d never dared to step out of my comfort zone before. I thought the unfamiliar would "eat me alive", realizing it was simply fear holding me back. Fear of rejection, failure, criticism, you name it. So fast forward a bit, late May/ early June 2012 I decide to do the master cleanse again, this time for fifteen (15) days with the objective to see myself from all perspectives: (how I see myself, how others see me, how I believe others see me, you get the picture).
During this cleanse I had quite a few ideas, epiphanies, revelations and thoughts (I will blog about the experience at another time) I am not completely sure why I thought to share my online journal with the world yet I talked myself out of it, I thought "that’s too personal", "who would read it?", and finally "would I censor my thoughts since they would now be available for the world to criticize?". Recently I was approached with an opportunity which in the past when presented with the same situation I’ve either talked myself out of it or allowed the deadline to pass me by. I told myself, "I’m not even a writer", "I need to take a class", and a host of other lame excuses. This time however I refused to let this opportunity pass me by, I have the chance to be apart of something spectacular and that is exactly what I need in my life. So I put my thoughts together and submitted a sample (see "How Did I Get Here?"); which was well received and with that encouragement I once again had the idea to share my thoughts. I spoke with the person who introduced me to my "opportunity" and he told me how my words may help someone obtain an alternate perspective and how we all go through the same things. I decided at that point, it’s no longer about me. If I have the opportunity to share my perspective and someone else benefits then I have no choice but to do it.
I am experiencing many feelings for the first time in my life, I am taking risks, being vulnerable, doing things that are uncomfortable and most importantly closing the gap between the girl I once was and that woman I’ve always wanted to be. Thank you for being apart of my journey and I hope something I say inspires you to do something you’ve talked yourself out of because of fear.
