Summer has official gone, as the weather begins to change I am reminded of my thoughts towards it all. Fall has always been my least favorite season, it's so sweet yet so cold. I will admit, Summer this year was full of surprises and truths I suppose I did not want to face. Without going into a play by play; I will say, I am truly grateful for the awareness and lesson learned. What I will say however, is to make sure to trust your gut, intuition, whatever you call it. When something doesn't quite feel right, often times it's because you are being forewarned that "this may be a mistake". At least that's my take on the matter.
So for days perhaps weeks I have been in "My Bubble", it's where I zone out the world and focus on my thoughts and feelings. I've managed to escape a time or two, but once I return it's as if I'd never left. There's this crisp coldness that feels all too familiar; it's cold yet you wouldn't dare add or take anything away from the moment.
Writing in my pajamas has been the most relaxing, the fact that is major seems ridiculous to me; although the reality of Anxiety Disorder being present makes all of the difference. As I allow Pandora to control the music, I am carefree; in this moment although I have a ton of things on my plate; to the point I feel overwhelmed at times; "don't we all".
One of which has been to lose weight, that one borderlines obsession. I'd reached my goal and was able to maintain until I had to rest after surgery. I was unable to exercise for 6 weeks; Focused on a smooth recovery I hadn't recognized depressing creeping around in the form of "comfort foods". Now I'm anxious about slimming down, it seems I went from a size 4 to a size 6 (I know, I know... funny how a few misplaced pounds can change your entire mood). I suppose now that I've shared it I can stop obsessing about the weight and take control of it, rather than try to avoid it as I've done in the past. So far I've made lifestyle changes that should help with the objective, crazy thing is; I've done this before yet this time is different. The proportions are different and a bit harder to shed; along with a strange battle with Anxiety.
I already know I will beat both of the issues at hand with prayer, exercise and other techniques I've found to be helpful. I guess the difficult part is wondering about the journey ahead, asking "what will it look like?" Or "how will I feel?" Forgetting that those things don't really matter when you're thinking of a bigger picture, the end results.
As I encourage myself to "stay the course" I hope to encourage you to do the same in whichever area(s) in your life; no matter how big or small.
