The World Outside My Window

is it True? is it Helpful? is it Inspiring? is it Necessary? is it Kind? Do you truly "T.H.I.N.K" before you speak? Typically I do, however the way I think has changed over time. Before my only care was if I found it "true" and "necessary", you know the "let me tell you about yourself" approach, funny thing about that is: not everyone cares if its actually true, as in "a fact". Most seem to simply operate out of their truth, which is subjective based on the number of facts they believe they have. Not researching further into a situation prior to speaking what they may know nothing or very little about. I was such a bitch, however it was because I said the things to someone's face that others gossip about behind their backs. I didn't care about friends, being liked or anyone's feelings, I figured "someone had to tell'em". Then I asked myself, "why do you HAVE to be that someone"? So I stopped. ...

After writing I have this "habit" of proof reading several times before hitting "publish" some posts I have to "sleep" on to make sure it's coming from the proper tone & space. For this I attribute (no longer placing "blame" or pointing fingers) the lovely OCD and those often amusing Perfectionist tendencies.  Last night, rather this Morning was one of those times. After reading it with various perspectives in mind, i decided to publish and share. I felt as if the tone was appropriate and those words wanted to get out; along with a few other posts i am organizing in my thoughts. I had a little trouble sleeping as i could not get my Mind to "shut down", finally the many techniques work and I'm off to my Dreams. I awoke to compliments, new "followers" and an offer to join a blogging network.  I am humbled, thankful and grateful to God for the gift He has entrusted in me. I'm still in awe of the relationship I...

Typically, i don't read my horoscope until the day is over. I recall during my "Great Depression", I'd read it daily and by the last sentence/word I was so upset because my life and the words expressed were extremely different. I felt as if reading it was a joke and/or a waste of time. I figured "whose life is that 'pretty' (for lack of a better word)?" I don't know if it was my skepticism that my life could be the way it was expressed in these words or if I it was the low energy in which I dwelled that kept me from believing it were possible. Or perhaps a combination of the two. Once I began to change my energy, I noticed my life and my horoscope were beginning to align themselves and I found a peace in seeing confirmation (a pat on the back or "good job" so to speak) and I depended on it (my horoscope) less and less. I began to turn to my Bible (the actual book as well as the mobile app), prayer and meditation instead, only checking...

I need to work at "getting to the point", honestly I believe that's for casual relationships. However, in business and/or personal relationships you should enjoy sharing the details. Improper sharing may result in casualties, oftentimes at your own expense (is that a coincidence?). I believe presentation is extremely important. To the point, if a dish isn't visually appealing, I can't eat it. Some will say, "that's unreasonable", I agree to disagree and move on to the next thing. Yet, I can be unreasonable with other things. I don't always recognize it so I usually asks randumbly. I've learned, or so it seems, when I have to ask if I'm being unreasonable, oftentimes it's because I am. Here's a weird, fun fact: I consider #Insomnia to be one of my best friends. We met during my first pregnancy. I had a job, full schedule of classes and I was becoming a single mother (and I hated kids, smh)... I couldn't figure out how I...

As some have noticed, it's been a while since I've shared my thoughts with you. On one hand, I'd like to apologize however I'm not sure why. As I pause for a moment to ask myself why I felt this way, the thought "it would be the nice thing to do" came to mind. On the other hand, as I've expressed on Twitter and in previous posts; I try not to use this as an outlet for whining and/or complaining. So I decided to "be still" until I had the words to share. I'm not quite sure where to begin or how much to share so this should be interesting lol. I decided it was time for me to return to church, this was a few months ago. So I prayed and meditated on what I needed, I was very clear with God as well as myself that I wasn't at all interested in "playing church". I wanted to be taught, nurtured, understood and productive. I didn't want to just sit in the pew and leave the same way I'd arrived. So after like months of conversa...

JEHOVAH-JIREH - "The Lord our provider" - This is also the name Abraham gave to the place where the Lord provided a sacrifice in place of Isaac. ( Gen. 22:14 ). JEHOVAH-NISSI -"Our banner, a banner of love and protection" - Also the name Moses gave to the altar he built after defeating the Amalekites ( Ex. 17:15 ). JEHOVAH-SHALOM -"Our perfect peace" - Also the name Gideon gave to the altar he built at Ophrah ( Judges 6:24 ) JEHOVAH-TSID-KENU -"The Lord is our righteousness " - The name is applied to a future Davidic king who would lead his people to do what is right and thus bring peace ( Jeremiah 23:6 ) and to the restored city of Jerusalem ( Jeremiah 33:16 ). The name is possibly a play on the name of Zedekiah ("Righteous [is] the Lord") who reigned from 597 to 587 B.C. JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH -"The One Who is with us everywhere for He is Omnipresent" - The Jerusalem of Ezekiel's vision ( see Ezek...

I'd convinced myself that I was not depressed,  I rationalized the fact that the way I behaved and felt was vastly different from the actions and words I expressed when I was obviously feeling that way.  So I shrugged it off and told myself that my psychiatrist was missing something as we exchanged words regarding my current medication which no longer worked and the replacement he'd suggested.  I make a point to research medications before taking them, I also make sure to discuss my other medications and herbs that I take to ensure it will not interfere with anything.   Finally I realized I've been putting off washing my hair for 2 weeks now, which means I havent washed my hair in 3 weeks, I am disgusted as I admit these words.  I know that something is wrong, so I began to be completely honest with myself and I prayed and in that moment I accepted the truth, which is I need to pick up my prescription, I was somewh...

I've always been fascinated by the moon, especially a "full moon".   I'm not exactly sure how the energy seems different, but there's a unique feeling in the air as the phases of the moon change.  I remember when I first realized it and began reading various theories about it, the most commonly known information is that the Moon is considered feminine energy where the Sun is considered masculine.  Perhaps, that's why I find it interesting, because of the vibe associated with feminine energy is much calmer than that of it's counterpart.  As I reflect on the day and random thoughts I feel a very peaceful energy surrounding me.    I attended a youth service today and the message was right in alignment with various conversations I've had recently.  In the past I would of thought of that as eerie or strange, however as my awareness of the Universe and my relationship with the Creator of the Universe continues to develop I understand how it all plays a ...

  In a perfect world we'd have no sad days or whatever the feeling was that managed to creep in Thursday evening. Throughout the day I attempted to make progress regarding a particular situation.  Over the past year I've made so many changes within myself, at times it's hard to believe my thoughts, feelings and desires are vastly different from what they've been the majority of my life.  So, on days like  the one  I experienced I don't quite know what I am supposed to feel.  Better yet, how I am supposed to express those feelings.    I was annoyed, frustrated, angry at times and battling depression as it seemed things were highly unlikely to change any time soon. Since the initial issue with "The Angry Birds" , the onset of anxiety disorder  followed by a required leave of absence from "The Land of the Lost", I have made every effort to refocus my thoughts to a bigger, brighter future. ...

"Leave My Body" Florence + the Machine Whenever I hear this song it reminds me of the scripture which speaks of how "being absent from the body is to be present with The Lord."   At times, I pray to leave my body, even if it's just for a few moments or a day or two.  I honestly believe this may have happened a time or two, for example when I had the car accident (see, Saturday, November 5, 2005 ) and was unconscious for an unknown period of time.  Like, what happens during that space in time?  Or when people are in a coma or whatever, I know what scientist say, however I believe that may be a time when you (generally speaking) may be in the presence of The Lord.  I don't know why this was on my mind this morning, well actually, let me explain . I'm up, dressed, out the door and in the car.  As I pull off I realize there's something wrong with my car and I intend to be somewhere at a certain time to assist in the preparation for a meeting.  A...

For the past couple of days I've felt this space of resentment and anger trying to express itself, I've been trying to "be nice", but that's a whole other blog.  As various conversations and events occurred I had to take deep breaths, find the " right " music, count to 10, take the necessary medication and a million other techniques my Therapists and I agreed upon.  Trouble is, at some point I felt  overwhelmed.  I wanted to vent to and about various things and people however I knew that wasn't a wise decision.  So I began a post titled "My Complaint Hierarchy", yet my thoughts weren't forming as I would have liked so I left it in the draft.    Not long after I spent some time with a very important person in my life and to say I was at my "wits end" would be an understatement.  I couldn't figure out if they were purposely trying to push my buttons or if it were just a happenstance, nonetheless, the tears began to fa...

Free public star parties are held monthly with the assistance of the Los Angeles Astronomical Society and the Los Angeles Sidewalk Astronomers at the Griffith Observatory from 2:00 p.m. to 9:45 p.m. They are a chance for the whole family to look at the sun, moon, visible planets, and other objects, to try out a variety of telescopes, and to talk to knowledgeable amateur astronomers about the sky and their equipment. Please be aware that the astronomers and telescope demonstrators must cut off the line for each telescope to enable all viewing to be completed by 9:45 p.m. Hours for telescope operation are not the same as for the building (which closes at 10:00 p.m.). Public Star Parties for 2013 January 19 February 16 March 16 April 20 May 18 June 15 July 13 August 17 September 14 October 12 November 9 December

There's a certain time of the day where the sky is pink , if I'm not mistaken this actually happens a few times during the day (in the morning as well as in the evening, around Sunset).  At times when I feel overwhelmed I look at the pink sky and know that everything is working out with my best interest in mind.  Yesterday, after a friend   and I were headed to the airport, I looked at the road ahead and shared my thought, "I love when the sky is pink", without hesitation he said "it's the golden time of the day" and my heart melted.  I realized, for the millionth time since Christmas, that I need him, I love him, I've chosen him and I felt as if the sky, being the color of "pure love" was a confirmation of the feelings in my heart, head & soul. I pray that I am not sharing these thoughts prematurely, however I understand that this is all apart of a journey and everyone has choices (damn free will) yet, I also believe that ju...

I was completely nervous heading into my appointment today with a million thoughts running through my mind. I've been praying, not for a particular outcome, but to know the truth. Something I've buried for six (6) years. December 2005, I'd decided to terminate a pregnancy following a car accident (see, "Honesty Hour" and "Saturday, November 05, 2005"). Well January 2006 a few days before my birthday I'm in the ER because something's wrong and up until this moment no one could figure out what it was. I recall being rushed into surgery and signing disclosure forms, I don't recall if the surgeon actually said that I wouldn't be able to have children or if somehow that was just what I'd heard. Trying to recover from an accident of that capacity while admitting that I was unable to handle the most important responsibility in my life was overwhelming to say the least. I recall the length of time it took to walk the few blocks to my son...

Insomnia, migraine, tears and its barely 9:00 am! Days like this "the bitch" comes out and her patience is extremely low, as I attempt to be truly "a new creation" I realize I can't allow the effects of stress to take me to such a low energy. So today, I choose to remain in a space of praise and worship. I have thoughts of my Pastor as she goes through a procedure and I ask God to comfort her, guide the thoughts, hands and atmosphere of her doctors and his/her staff. I have thoughts of my friend/ walking partner who recently lost her Father, and I ask God to dwell with her family at this time, and comfort their hearts. Along with tons of other random thoughts that come and go. I realize the plots and ploys of "d'evils" and how they're trying to take me to a space of panic or to revisit the anxiety attack I experienced in September of this year. I understand that these issues aren't going anywhere however the difference then compared to ...