There's a certain time of the day where the sky is pink, if I'm not mistaken this actually happens a few times during the day (in the morning as well as in the evening, around Sunset). At times when I feel overwhelmed I look at the pink sky and know that everything is working out with my best interest in mind. Yesterday, after a friend and I were headed to the airport, I looked at the road ahead and shared my thought, "I love when the sky is pink", without hesitation he said "it's the golden time of the day" and my heart melted. I realized, for the millionth time since Christmas, that I need him, I love him, I've chosen him and I felt as if the sky, being the color of "pure love" was a confirmation of the feelings in my heart, head & soul.
I pray that I am not sharing these thoughts prematurely, however I understand that this is all apart of a journey and everyone has choices (damn free will) yet, I also believe that just because you make a different choice, doesn't mean it was the "right" path to take. The movie, "The Matrix" comes to mind; red or blue pill, take a slide down the rabbit hole or go back to coloring inside the lines, making other people billionaires and living a mediocre life. Not to say, there's anything even wrong with that choice. I just know in my soul, that isn't the path for me, any longer.
Nevertheless, this is the man who introduced me to his family (mother & brothers) as "the woman I am going to marry", I told my Dad all about him and he's the first man who I want to introduce to my son as more than my friend. See, up until this point my son only meets my friends, these are people (male and female) who I am not interested in a relationship with, so there's no chance of things not working out and a need to explain to my son why _______ wont be around anymore. This entire experience is completely new to me, and as we exchanged our emotions prior to him leaving I expressed that to him. Funny thing is, how much he truly knows me. He remembers my "Ice Princess" years, when I was basically a man trapped in a womans body. I had no emotions and I refused to let anyone close to me. So when I said to him, I dont do this, I've never done this before, I dont know what I'm doing. He understood and felt compassion or empathy or something, then readjusted his stance on the topic which created friction in our otherwise perfect encounter.
He often sends songs to me, one inparticular expressed his intention for our future and as I am watching it all unfold, I am quite interested in seeing it all come together in whichever way it happens. I recall playing the song for my "Big Sister" and her words to me were "plan a date!"; at the time I thought that was crazy however since then I've picked a date and written it down; I've also decided on a couple of locations which I will allow input on. I can see it clearly and I believe he did/does too, especially after our first night together when we were sharing thoughts, dreams, ideas and many of ours were the completion of the others and he began to get "scared". I felt as if we were a married couple and this was just our life.
I intend to continue my journey as the Creator guides my path, this seems like a beautiful life of acceptance, nurturing and elevation. Let's see how it goes *fingers crossed*
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