I can be an impulse shopper, but only with the things that allow it without major repercussions. Such as wine, if the bottle and/or label is "pretty" or things that smell "good" that's my choice; I figure I want to be surrounded by pretty things that smell good. Win/Win! However if I'm purchasing electronics or something more technical, I research brands, trends as well as poll friends for their opinion. Funny thing though, I'm often told "that's not how you do that!" Or simply "that's wrong" with no insight on what's "right" or the appropriate way to choose wine or the like. Even funnier, my choices always seem to work out (For Me) when I make the selection that way. It's as if I've made a connection and it becomes "mine".
Here's a fun fact about me, I am extremely territorial and possessive. I try to keep it a secret, but those who've managed to occupy a particular space in my heart seem to be the ones to discover this. On the flip side, I developed a way to shut it off while I am in someone else's territory. You know the saying, "when in Rome, do as the Roman's do"? I don't impose my ways on others however people seem to know what I'm doing wrong (everything) and how "stupid" I REALLY am lmao. It used to amaze me when people would get to know me and say "you're not at all how I thought (or heard) you'd be". For years I'd ask, "well what did you hear?" And they never respond (honestly), which is fine. I prefer not to bother with gossip, even if its about me. Now I don't even respond to that, take the assumptions and run along with them to anyone who'll listen. Sad thing is, they never realize the joke's on them.
Typically I don't like to explain myself, especially to adults. So I'd keep things shallow or superficial, which works perfectly (for me). Now the other person assumes that I ONLY care about my weave, shoes, bags & other "Girly" things. Then they sum me up as being "dumb, careless, irresponsible, lonely and a host of others" truth is I don't see any problem with this, because it proves to me that you have no interest in getting to know who I am. Which is fine.
The crazy part comes when they assume that I'm not fine with it. I remember a time when I'd hold on to every friend I came across, I thought they were supposed to be in my life forever, so I'd accept anything just to say "my friend ______" after realizing how unhealthy and unhappy that dynamic was/is, I went all the way left. Yep, I burn bridges. At the first sight of disloyalty, unreliability or any other behavior I deemed harmful to me. I remember a certain person yelling at me "there's no in between with you! Why does everything have to be all or nothing?" I simply replied, because "I give my all and if I'm not willing to give my all there's no point giving half or minimum efforts." I truly believe that, in life (professional as well as personal), he then decided to inform me that I must be bi-polar because no one operates at such extremes.... -sigh- I said "you're right" and proceeded to delete his information from my phone and email address book. I try not to burn bridges these days, which has been a major challenge for me.
I find it interesting how judgmental people can be. For example, I love hiking at Runyon Canyon (Los Angeles, California) and typically when I go idgaf how I look (for the most part) I'm here to sweat and exercise, not "be cute" or "hook up" so I'm out on the path and I have this annoying habit of making eye contact and speaking to people who pass me. Crazy, I know. Typically a good chunk of the people respond, however the other day I went out with my "crew" and since they are teenagers I understand, appearance matters, so I put forth an effort to look better on the hike (hair down, lip gloss poppin', curves on display). We go out at our usual time and no one speaks to me, I said "Good Morning" at least a hundred times and MAYBE got one or two in return. The very next day, I'm back to the ponytail & "Chapstick", but the style of dress was the same, now they speak back. You wont believe who were THEE worst offenders O_o
Black women.....
I remember years ago MTV had some show about Celebrity's and the slogan was something like, "you think you know, but you have no idea". It's so true, people will assume, doubt, jump to conclusions (I was a master at that one), lie or whatever they deem necessary to have you "figured out" even if the way they figure is inaccurate. There are no shortcuts in life, okay wait.... There are shortcuts, however they don't lead to success. The short cuts lead to drama, struggle, unhappiness, false starts and confusion. Anything worthwhile, in faith, family and/or business takes time, effort, care, concern, an open mind & heart, knowledge, understanding and nurturing (to list a few).
I guess my point is, judging may be the shortcut stealing the life, success and relationships you have always dreamt of. What do you think will happen if we asked a question to gain clarity as opposed to assuming we already know the answer? What if we provided honest answers? What if we understood what is acceptable to ask vs. what is truly none of our business? What if we considered the other persons position before running with our prejudice?
My cover changes daily, yet the book remains the same (of course with revision and correction with each new edition). iPray that's true for everyone however I can't assume (although I still do at times and it leaves me sad and/ or disappointed) I'm still working on that part. But I strive to do better, iPray the same for you as you read these words.
Namasté
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