The other day I chose not to take my medication. I don't know how long or often that will be the case since I have been feeling extremely stressed; regarding various issues I am facing. In addition to the accomplishments of November 2014; I believe I may have put a bit too much pressure on myself, yet in those moments I knew I was doing the "right" things. Checking off various tasks on a to-do list as well as truly seeing strides taken toward a vision I've dreamed of was quite astonishing. At least for me. With that, I found myself in December 2014 in a state of unpreparedness, as everything was quite new, unfamiliar and moved at a more rapid pace than I have been accustomed to. Although I experience "deja vu" more often than I used to, I am still learning how to put the puzzle together appropriately. My desire is to continue on the path, as well as enjoy the journey God has chosen for me.
This has been interesting the past few months as my Birthdate approached; I found myself more in-tuned with my Self yet a bit distant and distracted from Others. I feel as if various connections have been severed or interrupted without my knowledge or consent (fully). I find myself unable to discern my next steps which I don't recall experiencing in over a decade. I had an encouraging conversation with a good friend as well as delightful exchanges with my Love Guru (#1) and (#2). For the most part, I am still processing the wisdom shared, along with "downloading" the necessary understanding and knowledge from the Universe (GOD). I feel as if He has a plan paved out for me and I am finally in a sense walking in it. Although religion teaches a quite rigid relationship with the Creator, I find my personal walk to be extremely cohesive as We are Co-Creating my destiny (thanks to free will). I won't go too deep into my thoughts on that, but I am grateful for the mercy, grace, favor and understanding God shows to me (as well as those of you who acknowledge those things in your life).
While meditating I had an idea to "hibernate" for the duration of Mercury Retrograde, however, after giving it some thought I realized it's been quite some time since I've allowed my Body to truly relax and not stress. Honestly with Anxiety Disorder and Severe Depression it seems to be an impossible thing to expect of myself. Yet, I am determined to try. I do not know how this hibernation will be structured, nor do I know how much of the Spiritual aspects I will chose to share. Just know that I do intend to stay in touch through this outlet (The Blog) as well as social media.
The thought actually came to me a few days ago initially. After a change in my medication, I felt as if lately my coping skills are vastly different from what they once were; especially since I've discovered I have a condition classified as HyperSensitivity. Since that's been an issue (until now I've chosen not to discuss, except with a few) I did not know how to bring it up. Typically I am vague with my specific issues and conditions as I feel too exposed to manipulation based on my personality as well as how the disorders affect me. Now at times I believe I should be more open and vulnerable, I've mentioned it in prior entries; then other times I believe I should keep some things to myself or in journals as well as the makings of a Book (or a few). I guess in those instances, time will tell.
To be continued...
This has been interesting the past few months as my Birthdate approached; I found myself more in-tuned with my Self yet a bit distant and distracted from Others. I feel as if various connections have been severed or interrupted without my knowledge or consent (fully). I find myself unable to discern my next steps which I don't recall experiencing in over a decade. I had an encouraging conversation with a good friend as well as delightful exchanges with my Love Guru (#1) and (#2). For the most part, I am still processing the wisdom shared, along with "downloading" the necessary understanding and knowledge from the Universe (GOD). I feel as if He has a plan paved out for me and I am finally in a sense walking in it. Although religion teaches a quite rigid relationship with the Creator, I find my personal walk to be extremely cohesive as We are Co-Creating my destiny (thanks to free will). I won't go too deep into my thoughts on that, but I am grateful for the mercy, grace, favor and understanding God shows to me (as well as those of you who acknowledge those things in your life).
While meditating I had an idea to "hibernate" for the duration of Mercury Retrograde, however, after giving it some thought I realized it's been quite some time since I've allowed my Body to truly relax and not stress. Honestly with Anxiety Disorder and Severe Depression it seems to be an impossible thing to expect of myself. Yet, I am determined to try. I do not know how this hibernation will be structured, nor do I know how much of the Spiritual aspects I will chose to share. Just know that I do intend to stay in touch through this outlet (The Blog) as well as social media.
The thought actually came to me a few days ago initially. After a change in my medication, I felt as if lately my coping skills are vastly different from what they once were; especially since I've discovered I have a condition classified as HyperSensitivity. Since that's been an issue (until now I've chosen not to discuss, except with a few) I did not know how to bring it up. Typically I am vague with my specific issues and conditions as I feel too exposed to manipulation based on my personality as well as how the disorders affect me. Now at times I believe I should be more open and vulnerable, I've mentioned it in prior entries; then other times I believe I should keep some things to myself or in journals as well as the makings of a Book (or a few). I guess in those instances, time will tell.
To be continued...
No comments:
Post a Comment