Initially I'd lost confidence in my writing for whatever reason. Then my desire to write returned, but I didn't know where to begin and/or how to determine how open I should be considering I have so much going on within myself. As I've stated before, I don't like to share a post without some type of conclusion or "victory" so to speak. Well towards the end of May 2014 I decided to do some sort of cleanse. I say some sort because this one is uniquely different than the ones I've done in the past. Now that I've established some type of routine I can see changes within myself; mentally, emotionally, physically as well as spiritually. I began focusing on fitness, meditation and my own energy; as I've accepted the fact that I can not control the thoughts, words, actions or energy of anyone other than myself. Unfortunately, when Anxiety is high I am not always successful in separating myself from those feelings. It's an ongoing struggle, however I am doing my best to keep all of my teachings in mind and take each moment as they come.
I will say that I've missed writing more than I thought I would. So much that I've taken my journal and pencil case out several times with the desire to form something, hell anything lol. The most to hit the page had been the date until now thanks to anxiety and insomnia. After expressing a few thoughts on Twitter I decided to take a moment and absorb energy from the onset of the "Super Full Moon" scheduled for Saturday (July 12, 2014). So I begin my meditation routine and as I'm allowing my thoughts to form I actually felt that urge to write or something.
I am really beginning to understand the power of alignment and maintaining a strong relationship with God. It's typically an experience I feel while cleansing since I focus a lot of time and attention towards my complete being (mind, body and soul/ spirit). Spending quiet time in prayer as well as reading my Bible. Although I don't identify with the Muslim faith I even decided to observe Ramadan along with my cleanse. I'm sure I did not follow all of the practices however my main objective was to learn something as well as to participate in fasting for the specified time period. As long as it was safe for me to do so.
I am grateful for this experience and I truly hope that I've found the flow within myself that's needed to manifest the desires of my heart. To evolve and become the woman I am supposed to be. I am not sure entirely what that looks like or exactly how to get there from the space I am in now. However, I believe as long as I take the necessary steps, keep my faith high and recognize when I need to pay extra attention to myself while dealing with the Anxiety Disorder. I pray I am able to maintain this space as I've missed it so much.
Some of you may already know, I initially began the Blog with private settings as an outlet for my thoughts; without going into details regarding how it became public I will admit, I didn't expect to connect with others because of it. I hope to continue as we are all on our journey through this space called Life.
Until next time. Blessings.
No comments:
Post a Comment