How will I know?

From my twitter 10/18/12:

If someone wants to marry you, at what point do you stop entertaining others? There's no ring or official proposal, just a mutual desire. If you see areas they need development, how much effort do you put forth for them to actually be in position to ask and get a "Yes!"? Like, are you supposed to do everything in your power to help them win you over or are you supposed to wait for someone who's already ready?

This is all unfamiliar territory for me. I don't know what to do. But I want him to win! So do I help him win me over, or is that solely up to him? At what point do I pour my energy into him? The proposal or after the "I do"? But is that too late? When does it begin?
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I found myself smitten with his words however I still haven't seen the necessary action that would let me know he was/is truly ready. I've been engaged before, but this is completely different. See, the first time I discussed getting married my only concerns were the shape, size & clarity of MY ring, MY dress and the location of MY wedding. I didn't even consider what "our" life together looked like until I found myself pregnant (see "Honesty Hour"), in that moment as I realized I was using him as an escape from the life I found myself in, along with pressure around me on when we were getting married I finally realized, "I don't want to spend my life with him". I took that as my chance to get out of this situation and take control of my life again.

So now, I'm ready to share my life with someone, to nurture and encourage, to express my love like I've never done before. I haven't thought too much about the wedding details or location, but I know how I want to be treated, how I want to feel and how I desire to express my love. As I found myself confused by "loyalty", I had to take a moment to process the words of those around me who offered their input. They advised me to continue to prepare myself for the life I want and to focus on the type of man I deserve. They pointed out all of the qualities I have to offer and reminded me not to settle.

I realize although I have love for a few, I still haven't found what I'm looking for. A few posts ago I mentioned that I may post my list on here, and now that I think about it again maybe I will. I recently found myself in a conversation or argument with this guy the other day. For some reason he likes to invite me to things and he disguises it as an innocent outing, yet his energy disturbs me. Initially I agreed to attend the event, but as the day progressed I was made aware that I needed to spend my day doing other things. So sure enough when I cancelled he decided to tell me about myself (insert blank stare here). It always amazes me when a man attempts to tell me about myself and/or make me "act right". I guess because I can see right through it and its always a certain "type" of man who finds it necessary to use that approach, and continue even when it proves to be ineffective. Then you have the ones posing as a friend yet wishing, hoping, praying for an opportunity to "slide" in anyway they can.

I find myself, in this moment wanting to help my boo along so that it would eliminate those types of interactions. Then I realize, if he isn't willing or able to put forth the necessary effort with all of his might to take me off the market; he doesn't deserve me either. I realize how much ambition means to me. And if he can't prove to be ambitious, without being arrogant or condescending then he doesn't have a key quality necessary to be my husband. Between my workaholic nature, spoiled brat antics (on occassion) and OCD I would "eat him alive".

I guess, I'll know when I know. And for now, I know I don't see what I need.