I recall a year or two ago, my boo mentioned that he wants a motorcycle, he even asked me if he could get one. I thought it was the cutest thing that he'd actually asked my "permission" because he knows how I worry about him. I always have, I've had this tender spot in my heart for him since the time we met. However, somehow with him I can never say "no", especially to something he wants, because he deserves the world! He's such a humble, giving, caring, loving, thoughtful person. I mentioned to him in conversation not too long ago that he was "my favorite" guy and he absolutely is. He's in a category all his own, and he always has been.
Through all of my dating life he is the only person who never said that I was "weird", he understands me on a level that I've never experienced before. As I sit here with my fingers on the keyboard I realize how important that is. For someone to understand your strengths as well as your weaknesses and not pass judgement. I remember the first time he came to my apartment and he looked at EVERYTHING, even my vision board and other private things that I'd never let anyone see. His words were that it was all "exactly what he expected". One day in conversation he mentioned that he read something about OCD and how he'd researched it and found the whole "disorder" fascinating. I asked why, and he said to help him understand me better.
Last Sunday while visiting my family in their new home, their friend was there with his motorcycle, in that moment I decided I wanted to ride, well now I'm obsessed with learning. I'm ready! I figure if the man I love has an interest I should find out about it. Not saying or expecting for us to share every interest that the other has, but it makes sense to me, in the type of relationship I want to establish to share some interest with one another. I recall conversations regarding one of our favorite movies Love Jones and the scenes where Lorenz Tate and Nia Long are riding around on his bike and they are so close, it seems like it would create such an amazing bond. He and I have a very special friendship, we are honest with one another. We share our dreams, fantasies, hopes, desires, issues, you name it.
I remember about a month or two ago, we were having a conversation via text and he asked me what would it take for me to say "yes" if he were to ask me to marry him. The question came at a very interesting time, as I was dating randomly, but nothing at all serious. One of the gentlemen that I dated asked me to show him the map to my heart and I was completely turned off. I hadn't known him long and to me it was as if he wanted the cliff notes to my love and I was not having it. My heart, love, mind, body, etc are not offered on a silver platter with little to no effort required. So I began to take a serious inventory of the men occupying my time, thoughts and heart. I remembered the words of a gentleman I follow on twitter @ihustlenation (www.ihustlenation.com), I don't remember his exact words however what I got from it was to pay attention to the attention being paid to you. As women we often find ourselves vying for attention so we'll sometimes display certain antics in order to get the desired response from a man. I found myself in a few different scenarios, with one person, he was completely nonchalant. He acted as if he didn't care if I stayed or left, however when I'd leave he had his panties in a bunch and was angry because I "push him away" and he was "tired of chasing" me. Another, handled me at arms distance, he'd let me in only when it was convenient for him or to his benefit. Often leaving most of my needs unmet. The others were trying to make the cut, but really didn't have much of a chance of getting anywhere without some extraordinary display of attention or affection. Then there was "my favorite", I often referred to him as "the underdog", for some reason he felt he was stuck in the friend category. He thought someone else had my heart, and for a while the latter part was partially true. I was infatuated with a toxic situation that I thought was more than it could ever be. However once I began to truly see the energy being given to me it became clear where I should direct mine in return.
So when he sent that text, I gave him the instructions to his desired answer. I could sense the urgency in his words; this is the man who introduced me to his family as his "future wife". I've met his mother, brother, and other key people in his life. He checks on me, even with a full plate of his own, He wants me to be happy and says that he will do anything to make me stay that way. While everyone else was pulling me into several different types of confusion, he was the one making things clear. It became a no-brainer, why would I give my energy to anyone else? Why would I not stop, take a moment and recognize someone who truly loves me? To be honest, I was waiting on this day. I knew deep within that I could be happy with him and we could design a life together and be amazing. I just didn't think he believed it were possible, I didn't hear the necessary words to know that he was ready. I'd often ask him questions, hoping that he would say those words and finally he did. I knew on some level the others would not make me as happy as he would. He always tells me he loves me, he misses me and how beautiful I am. Even when I was unhappy with my weight, he never failed to address me as "beautiful", when he met me my hair was long, then I cut it, then I grew it back, now I wear a weave and he could care less. He actually sees ME!
I remember recently he was going through a few things and as I encouraged him I introduced the practice of meditation, and he embraced it. While others fought and/or doubted anything I tried to share with them, he's always been the one to listen and benefit from what I shared. I asked him what he loves about me and he had a list a mile long, he actually pays attention to me (my likes, dislikes, standards, quirks, etc.), he makes me feel secure, I trust him to keep his word and to be himself.
I know the saying "Happy Wife; Happy Life", and it is very true. If your wife is happy, your life will definitely be happy however what a happy life I would have to know that my husband is happy. Like, truly happy with me, with us. Not just because he showered me with gifts so I made him a meal or some other trivial display of happiness. But that true to the soul, down to the core, I can see it in your eyes, make your heart melt type of happiness. That's what I desire and that's what he deserves.
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