Sometimes I laugh at myself for the amount of thoughts that seem to flood my mind at any given time. I set a goal to write daily, however that hasn't exactly happened. I've had a million thoughts and several drafts, however the words aren't flowing as they usually have. I've made a point not to force my posts, mainly because the blog is basically an outlet so I am not over-analyzing my life as I have been known to do. The process has been that I'd have a thought and begin to type and allow the thought(s) to come out however they are with very little revision.
I will admit, I've had some pretty emotional days lately and I haven't completely figured out how much I am willing/going to share publicly. This shouldn't be a huge surprise as I've stated in various posts how some thoughts are written, yet kept in my private journal while others are saved for therapy. I know we all have various challenges and are on our own unique journey, whether we recognize it or not. However how much is too much when sharing? Again, as I've noticed the number of views increase each month (thank you for taking the time to entertain my thoughts) I have battles at times with how much to share versus how much to keep to myself or my other outlets. As I type these words I realize that keeping things to myself for so many years has been part of the issue when it comes to these emotions running wild recently.
I've always been a "private" person, however recently the feeling of being overwhelmed and vulnerable has been a little too much at times. Leading to many anxiety attacks, tears, migraines and tantrums for lack of a better description. Having recently had a birthday, my mind goes to the saying "another year older and none the wiser", yet I believe I am a bit wiser. Mainly because I've decided to purge my heart and allow whatever to flow from it freely. No longer holding onto hurt, disappointment and other low energy emotions which create a tormented existence. I've chosen to focus on the things and people who contribute to my happiness however I haven't been successful each day, but I am striving to from this point on. I've made some decisions these past few days that I believe will propel my mind, heart and soul into the direction of peace. I believe the tears and emotion may have opened another level within myself that I was afraid to explore, yet the circumstances of life forced me to do so.
I supposed time will tell.
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