Be careful what you ask for...

"Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:8a

"God is Love" 1 John 4:8 

"God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him." 1 John 4:16b

 

 

With various thoughts over the past week, I see now more than ever how "we" may pray for certain things to occur and when they actually happen "we" run away or do something/anything to sabotage the desired outcome.  I'm not quite sure how many times I've done this myself.  I guess it's the fear, but of what?  What exactly is it that holds us back?

 

 

As I headed to the gym at approximately 11 pm I felt afraid, like, something would happen.  Perhaps because I'd be there alone, but in this moment I could have chosen to turn back to the comfort of home or face the fear, the thoughts of my bikini body and the lovely clothes I plan to purchase (soon).  I chose the gym and I felt amazing afterwards!  Then I think back on how unhappy I was and the fact that one year ago I was 40+ pounds heavier, then I asked God for things to change and embraced the things necessary to make those goals a reality.

 

 

My thoughts then take me to a certain someone, and his words to me.  I can't put meaning behind his words or actions, I can't say why he does the things that he does, but I do recall him expressing to me that he was "scared".  Somehow during our interaction, I'd scared him, not by my actions or words; but the smoothness of things.  Even as we had disagreements, things still had a cohecive flow.  Now I'm reminded of my ex and how things were "perfect" at times and the moment things were "too good to be true" he'd make sure to say or do something to mess it up.  I guess I'm just different, when things seem "too good to be true", I know that it is Divine.  So I pray and seek guidance and things continue to fall into place, of course with setbacks and mishaps or whatever life brings, but in the end it's always worth it. 

 

 

I am now asking for Love, not the superficial type that is fleeting, but true love.  The kind that melts the heart and provokes thought.  The type that inspire great music, poetry, books and success.  To have all of the pieces of the puzzle in place, how magical life would be?  I want that! More importantly, I want it with someone who is in the same space and desires to be who God created them to be while we create the life of our dreams.  Before I was unsure if I was ready, today, I no longer believe that's the case.