Last night I felt some type of way, I don't know how to put the feelings into words. Soon after I received a call from my Daddy, he just wanted to check on me and see how my day went. In the conversation I mentioned that I was headed to bible class and he made me promise to call him when I was done. So as I am heading home I remember to call him, he then asks if I need anything and tells me to "stop by sometime so I can give you something". I could tell that he wanted to see me since I'd expressed to him that my week hadn't been the best.
I recall a conversation we had last week where he mentioned the time "1:18" the numbers represent my birthday, he stated that he always thinks of me at that time. He says the most amazing things to me at just the right time, making my heart smile always. I arrive at his place and he hands me money, we then go to the store and he asks if I want or need anything. In an instance when I said out loud to remind myself to get gas before I take him home, we arrive at the gas station and he jumps out of the car, I ask him to wait so I can give him the money and he said he didn't need it. He filled my tank and we went on our way. He gives the best hugs and somehow when I am in his arms, I have this feeling that I will be okay.
My dad is far from perfect, however he's always made it known that I am his Princess, he's always referred to me as his Angel and when I need him, he comes running. I recall a time where he was going through various changes and one of his decisions created a huge tear in our relationship. I stopped speaking to him for a few years, however this year on Father's day I realized how much I missed him. So I called him, and before I could say a few words, he apologized. He didn't take the stance of "I'm the parent so no matter what I do you have to accept it", he realized he'd hurt me and vowed to never do it again. Since then our relationship has been like the old days. I try very hard not to compare my feelings for my parents, however at times it's hard not to as one is there for me and offers everything they have and the other, not so much.
I don't know what's going on in the Cosmos, or why I am extremely emotional today. I guess it's better to get this crap out than to continue to hold it in. As he and I discussed my appointment he made sure to tell me to call him and let him know how it goes. The fact that he is concerned about every aspect of my life amazes me. Like, when I talk to him about various guys I know and seek his insight. Sometimes I keep things to myself because I think he doesn't want to know, and as soon as the thought enters my mind he'll ask me, whats going on with ________? He remembers their names and the details I've shared. He doesn't judge me and I know he accepts me for who I am, as well as the fact he actually knows who I am makes me love him so much more.
I don't know if I am wrong for that, but then again how could I be wrong for the way I feel? If your actions or lack thereof creates a dynamic that you may not like, is it the other persons fault?
No comments:
Post a Comment