Vampire Days

Three doctors and two prescriptions for a migraine headache that morphed into something I've never experienced before. I was literally in darkness with the covers pulled over my head each day, for a week. The vibration I felt in my head was beyond words. With sensitivity to light and sound, television and music were out of the question! So I slept, better yet, I dreamt; for 5 days. With the exception of outings to the doctor and for food, I don't recall many outings for food though.

I typically have the most amazing dreams, I learned at a very young age how to control them. When I was young, I had "bad" dreams most nights, I don't think I'd classify them as nightmares, but they weren't pleasant. So I figured out a way to redirect them. Like, if I could tell the sequence of the current dream was heading to a dark space or someplace I didn't want it to go, I would think of something happy and my dream would change. The best part is, doing this never interrupted my sleep. So now I rarely dream of dark spaces, usually the life I believe I'm supposed to live, memories or a fantasy world (perhaps I'm dreaming of my past lives lol).

Good thing the third doctor got it right and I am feeling better. So I spent the last day of my "recovery" with "The Newbie", he made sure I ate and took the necessary medication on time. I think the best part was the moments when he buried his head under the cover with me and we talked about our dreams. I shared thoughts with him that I'd never shared with anyone before and he didn't laugh or make me feel "crazy". At one point the spoiled brat that I can be showed up and it didn't faze him at all. Randomly thoughts of the other guys mentioned in the past came to mind and I began to wish they were in his place. However, the day after I realize, they had the same opportunity and chose not to take it. Now I find myself in the presence of someone who is just happy to share the air I breathe, makes time and put my needs first when I needed it the most.

This morning I found myself missing him and I took to my twitter (@ShoesEqualAmore) and expressed my thoughts regarding a recent conversation with "The Tough Guy" and his antics and some things became clear.

In this fairytale my husband has no name or face, just character. I'm in no rush, he'll find me as the timing of the Divine ordains. Until then I'll go where I'm wanted, loved & appreciated. Not where I'm tolerated or expected to settle for less than I deserve.

Although I could do without the migraine, I wouldn't mind a few more "vampire days" with someone who appreciates my spirit as well as the person he sees. I will admit, I found myself lost in our bubble, and I wasn't really ready to leave.