the pain in my side

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Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control

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How Did I Get Here?

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As some have noticed, it's been a while since I've shared my thoughts with you. On one hand, I'd like to apologize however I'm not sure why. As I pause for a moment to ask myself why I felt this way, the thought "it would be the nice thing to do" came to mind. On the other hand, as I've expressed on Twitter and in previous posts; I try not to use this as an outlet for whining and/or complaining. So I decided to "be still" until I had the words to share. I'm not quite sure where to begin or how much to share so this should be interesting lol. I decided it was time for me to return to church, this was a few months ago. So I prayed and meditated on what I needed, I was very clear with God as well as myself that I wasn't at all interested in "playing church". I wanted to be taught, nurtured, understood and productive. I didn't want to just sit in the pew and leave the same way I'd arrived. So after like months of conversa...
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Saturday, November 05, 2005

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Initially I didn't understand why I was so emotional the past few days, until at some point I realized the date. November 4th, I was rushing, I woke up late and it completely derailed my entire day. I'd planned to get gas before work, but since I was 30 minutes late I said "I'll do it later". Somehow that didn't happen either, the day turns to evening and I forget all about it. I remember I stopped at a party, had a drink (or two) then went to see the guy I was dating and he went with me to get some piercing (I don't recall which one). I expected to stay at his place and leave the next morning, as I planned it out I factored that I'd have to get gas by then for sure. Well it's about 2:30 am at this point and he wasn't with my plan, as he tried to repair the damage done by his initial reaction it was too late. I left, wishing, hoping, praying I make it home safely since getting gas now is out of the question. I'm so close to home, I th...
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